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Calling all Flirts & People who've been flirted w.
Calling all Flirts & People who've been flirted w. / Dating / 11:36 AM - Sunday April 24, 2005
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A Career Woman (Female, Cleveland, 29-35, Who Cares?) asked:


Everyone talks about flirting, but rarely do people define what they mean by flirting. You hear things like, "He flirted with me" or "I could tell she liked me because she flirted with me all night." So, when you use the word "flirting" what do you mean by it? Give examples. How do you distinguish between a touch-feely person and a person who is flirting with you?


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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Chicago, 29-35) answered:

Screenname: Chemist


I would characterize it as flirting if somebody seems to be giving somebody else more attention then is necessary or required in that situation or setting.

For example, I recently was at a checkout line at the hardware store. In this situation, I'd expect a cashier to greet me, ask if I found everything okay and wish me a nice day. But she went a little further about asking if I lived in the area and the project I'm working on and how my weekend was. I would say she is flirting at this point. Since she was exhibiting a genuine curiosity about me that she wouldn't towards other customers.

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A Thinker (Female, 26-28, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: honey1306


I think you can distinguish a touchy feely person from a flirty person by how many people they are touching, or not. A flirty person will generally only touch one person at a time, while the touchy feely one will touch everyone all the time. I think flirting is defined by the person receiving the flirts. Many people believe they are flirting and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. So if you feel like you are being flirted with, then you probably are.

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, San Francisco, 56-65) answered:

Screenname: chesterdad


I actually found a book at a library sale, "The Fine Art of Flirting", by Joyce Jillson, and it tells you a lot... First, the essence of flirting is FRIENDLINESS. So, it can be difficult to tell where ordinary friendliness turns into flirting. In some countries, flirting is something that everybody does, all the time. They flirt with people they'd never consider for romance, it doesn't matter!
True high-class firting is very hard to define, because when it's done properly, it's nearly invisible.
If you want some really great info from the dating gurus, David DeAngelo has some excellent stuff, at doubleyourdating.co m. Some of the things he talks about are just like playing a fish on a line... Pull a little, give a little, don't be too attentive, break off occasionally to show some attention to other people, build anticipation, and so on.
Ross Jeffries has his own techniques for flirting; he works with Neuro-Linguistics, which is closely related to hypnosis.
All of this requires practice, believe me, and Lord knows, we sure don't get this in school!

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