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Single Mom trap!!
Dating / 3:43 PM - Thursday May 03, 2007

Single Mom trap!!

Does anyone else feel that dating single moms is pointless? I mean, if you're a single successful guy, why would you want to date a chick that already has kids? With all the hot single chikc's
with no kids available, it makes no sense to date or even worse, get married, with a single mom. What good can come out of this? I would encourage guys that have something going on with their lives to not get involved with these single moms. It leads nowhere!!

- Asked by A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Managerial

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Children are a gift, not a liability.

If more of the world embodied that concept, it would be a much better place to live.

That said, you are entitled to date or not date whomever you want for whatever reason you want.

- Response by sm913, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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You are definitely entitled to your point of view, and I hear that. Up until just over a year ago, I would not consider dating a single father, because children are not in my future.

However, as I got into my mid-30's, I decided to get real, and be more open-minded; the more men I met, at my increased age, meant more of them would have children. I'm glad I got there, as the love of my life has a young daughter.

It really doesn't necessarily lead "nowhere". It takes a strong and secure man to take that on, as it does indicate MY generosity of spirit to take on another woman's child.

But if it's not right for YOU, that is OKAY to know your limits. But try not to be so closed-minded about it, and discouraging of others.

You never know what form your soulmate could come in, is all I'm saying.

- Response by sakura1, A Player, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Becareful what you ask for. You might fall in love with a women that has children and what will you do then. Good luck!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Miami, Administrative

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I feel sorry for you limiting yourself in this manner. Its the woman that you have involvment with. The child is part of the deal, but if you love the woman, the child is just a bonus. But everyone has thier own criteria, I just think you are limiting yourself unnessisarliy.

- Response by hoopsjunkie, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Indianapolis, Political / Government

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You have every right to not want to get involved with single moms, but why do you feel the need to discourage other men from doing so? Not everyone has the same goals as you, some men have children themselves which can make single moms better partners than other women and you can't always control who you fall in love with.

I don't want to get involved with single dads. Its more baggage then I am willing to deal with right now, but its not my place to tell other women not to. Other people's love lives are none of my business.

- Response by km12, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, New York, Student

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As someone who will soon marry a single mom, I couldn't disagree more. I'm a single dad, so it was important for me to find someone who would make a good step mother for my three kids. The best way to find out what type of mother a woman will be is to see her mothering in action. You can only do that if she IS a mother. If a guy is single, and he doesn't have any kids of his own, then he might not be up for dating a single mom - especially if he's too self-centered to understand that he might not be her #1 priority.

- Response by tomb12qb, A Jock, Male, 36-45, Norfolk, Military

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Well it is too bad that you are so narrowed minded that you could not open yourself up to a single mom or her children. You know there are real men out there that can love a women with children and love the kids as their own. Guess you are too closed minded to see that you could possibly find happiness with a single mom!!!

- Response by MaryAnne, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Well...it's obviously pointless for you.
I hope you stay away from them. You'll be doing everyone a big favor.

- Response by chchia, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Wow that limits your possibilities. There are many single parents that don't have drama going on and are good people with good children. I guess it's a personal choice thing. I wouldn't turn my nose up at a single man with children. What happens if you meet a woman with children and you are very much attracted to (personality and looks)??? Would you shut her down because she has children??? You could be missing out on someone very special by doing that, but I guess you are willing to take that risk. Take care!!!

- Response by cocoacurevelous, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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so you got dumped on by a single mom, (or at least you FEEL you were) and now you want to say that 100% of the single moms out there are trouble? that is certainly an extreme position to take, and not very realistic or mature. you say nothing of your part in the breakup of whatever relationship you're so pissed off about. extreme negativity and an inability to accept responsibility on your part will cause any relationship you are in to shrivel up. it has nothing to do with whether or not a woman is a single parent. it has to do with whether or not you work at being more mature.

- Response by pepelepeu, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Student

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I only have one concern. Was she a M.I.L.F.?

- Response by welhunguy, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, New York, Body Work

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Dating a single mom has its advantages - no silly little games. They don't have time for mind games. They are typically hardworking women, playing the role of both mom and dad. They have to pay the mortgage, mow the lawn, cook and clean. They teach their sons to play ball, and will dig worms with them for fishing, they will sit and watch a ball game with them. They teach their daughters to mow the lawn and how to be self-sufficient.

Chances of finding a woman with such a strong backbone that isn't a mom is slim to none.

- Response by logical1, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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Oh, yeah, you're so "successful" that you can't even spell "you're" or "chick". LMAO
You're doing us single moms a favor by staying away from us!

- Response by paisleygal, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, Sacramento, Other Profession

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I have two sons by ex. It's important to me that any serious relationship be with a woman that can deal well with kids. Consequently, every serious relationship since my divorce has been with women that have children. Scratch that. I haven't even dated a woman without children. My fiance has 3 kids, and she has done a great job with them. I love kids - hers and mine - and our blended family is going to be fantastic. That's not to say that it won't have its challenges, but I'm looking forward to it.

Another reason I don't date women without kids is that most hetero women that don't already have kids, are ready to get started making some. As much as I love children, I really don't want to start over again with pregnancy followed by 3 yrs of bottles, baby food, diapers, cabinet locks, getting up in the middle of the night, etc. It was fun (some of it, anyway), but it's over.

- Response by zbuck1, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Consulting

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Although I agree with your point, I think it's unnecessary to advertise it.



- Response by goddard, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Los Angeles, Financial / Banking

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i wonder what makes you think this way? have you or your friends been 'trapped' by a single mother? i dont think being a single mother has anything to do with it, it has to do with the woman herself. any woman can try and trap or trick a man doesnt matter if she has a kid on her hip or not. and speaking from experience most single women are very dedicated, loving, compasionate partners...though spontinaity (sp) is out the window it doesnt mean your anything less to her. unless she is a bitch than your screwed! LOL

- Response by crazysexysilly1, A Married Girl, Female, 26-28, Dallas, Celebrity

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You never know, there are some very mature single mothers out there who know what they want and aren't afraid to get it, it could be a good thing because you wouldn't have to worry about game playing, being taken for a ride or even possibly, falling in love...:) You need to give people a chance before you lump everyone into one lump because you never know what can/might happen...:)

- Response by fastball, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Student

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What if the love of your life happens to have kids? I understand your point, but you never know.

I don't have any kids myself, but I don't think you should necessarily write of ALL women just because they have kids.

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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i agree

- Response by luvbuck, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Frankfurt, Political / Government

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Of course you are entitled to your opinion. Just remember this....you were once a child too. Maybe you were one of the "lucky" children of the world to grow up with both of your parents....no divorce.

Here are a few single moms...that you would not be interested in....

Vanessa Williams
Katie Couric
Pamela Anderson (i think is divorced again)
Meg Ryan
Lisa Raye
Nikki Taylor
Jodie Foster


oh Yeah...and me....


- Response by msqbchlvr, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Who Cares?

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For me its pointless, unless the kid will fit in a garbage bag and I happen to be driving by a river.

- Response by mirage338, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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we are organized, independent, mutitasking geniuses, and it's only
natural that would scare the sh*t out of the really insecure faction of the male population . . . . . it's okay, love, we understand. you should be scared, we're some awesome b*tches!!!!
*kisses*

- Response by p007, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, Columbus, Retail

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I can see where you are coming from. I am a single Mom and I have dated men with and without children and the ones with children aren't selfish, are more understanding, and also know how to treat a women, whereas single men with no attachments are more likely to use a women, are more likely to mislead a women, and are more likely to be too self involved. That is my experience at least. :)

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Buffalo, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I agree with you. It would be pointless for you to date a single mom.

- Response by kcsmom, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Well now, it has been some time since you have been on this site, and added your narrow viewed wisdom. Your prior remarks took women as a group to severe task about this perceived trait or that. Your quite pointed remarks revealed a decided hostility to women that in the main was shared by few men. This is just one more.

- Response by gilpill, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Chicago, Internet / New Media

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to each his own. if you don't want to date a "chick" that already has kids" then there is no reason why you should. it is not easy dating someone who has children, especially if you have never had any. i don't, however, see where you think it is pointless and will lead nowhere.

- Response by divadancer2, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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You know I see the point you're trying to make, but think about it this way. What if, just what if you own mother for whatever reason was left single. Would you want a great guy to think of her with you, as you're thinking about other single moms, and what about women thinking of single dads that same way.

I mean with the ratio of men to women being what it supposedly is on this planet. It would seem men with children and baby mama drama is more prevalent, don't you think and what women would want to go through that? See the point is single moms and dads might be in that situation because they were widowed, does that mean they shouldn't be considered great catches like other people? Just a thought.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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I am sorry if you had a bad experience. Or was it just a brain wave? I was dating a man with 3 young girls, I couldn't see myself being their mother so I had to end it. Not that I don't like kids but I just don't have the energy to put into it.
However never say never as I know for the right one I might be willing to make exceptions to the rules. We all tend to do that. So why worry?

Sarah.

- Response by roxysara, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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I agree that it is difficult and adds a new dimension to the relationship. I have dated two women who had kids....it did not work out but some do and I do not think it is a good idea to advise people to not date or fall in love with someone just because they have kids.... Sometimes relationships with single people do not work out either.

There is no easy answer to this.....but, we can't help who we fall in love with....we just need to be open to the possibility of falling in love and having a meaningful relationship with someone, regardless of their situation.

Good luck!

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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omfg! that's it. i knew there was a reason i can't get a date...

- Response by luckycowgirl, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Celebrity

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your fat

- Response by mely, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Home Maker

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Okay---Is your name Tom Leykis??? On the more serious side - when you become a Mom. you grow so much, you tap into your narturing side, you connect with the beauty of loving someone more than yourself. Alot of single Moms become single Moms because they outgrow their self-centered partner. I think like anything else, you cant generalize. Is a case by case basis. And as you can probably figure I was a single Mom. my son is grown now. But my relationships as a single Mom were much more complete than the single, self-centered me ever had.

- Response by llindapete, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Technical

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Weirdo. How can you make such a ridiculously general statement when every person is different and every situation is different. I know plenty of single moms who are absolutely fabulous people.

- Response by ladybelle, A Sportif, Female, 29-35

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Of course, with that point of view you might miss out on meeting your one true love....

- Response by falconf1, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Ottawa, Who Cares?

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It must suck to be you! Your so neg!

- Response by babygirl10lv, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Administrative

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whose heart are you trying to control? human beings cannot be told whom to chose for love and date, unless ou are talking about casual sex and relaationships.

- Response by shahista, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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some guys specifically go for single mothers because they think the single mothers will be turned down by other guys and so she will welcome any male attention/need the sex/be after a meal ticket so they use her vulnerability to get involved with her and then after they've used her for sex they move on to some other woman, it happens alot, guys that get involved with women with kids are doing it for the sex nothing else, which leads me to a question-if those guys are using that mother for sex would they really care about her if she DIDN'T have kids anyway?

- Response by nico88, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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Boy........you have alot of growing up to do.

- Response by overloaded, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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boy your missing out on something great, most of the women I have dated has kids and i enjoyed everyday with them..

- Response by something, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Atlanta, Other Profession

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my older sister was abandoned at 17 with a baby do you think she doesnt deserve to be loved? if so then reevalute your life and your values because there is something wrong with you.

- Response by mswantslove07, A Creative, Female, 18-21, Student

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you are wrong there single moms are a good thing as they have more real life experiance than moast of the single ones they no how hard it is to keep a familey together and they work atit

- Response by dmncowboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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