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Single Mom trap!!
Single Mom trap!! / Dating / 5:26 PM - Friday August 19, 2005
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A Rebel (Male, Los Angeles, 29-35, Managerial) asked:


Ok..does anyone else feel that dating single moms is pointless, I mean If your a single successful guy, Why would you want to date a chic that already has kids..with all the hot single chic's
with no kids available..it makes no sense to date or even worse.. get married, with a single mom, what good can come out of this. I would encourage guys that have something going on with there,lives to not get involved with these single moms..I leads nowhere!!


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A Guy Critical (Male, Seattle, 46-55, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: bookman


I'm sorry you're so shallow that you would rule out a woman because she has kids. Maybe she was in an abusive relationship and finally had the nerve to leave her husband. Thanks to small-minded men(?) like you I get to meet and date all kinds of fascinating women years younger than me!

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A Trendsetter (Female, Sacramento, 26-28, Political / Government) answered:


maybe the guy is in love with the single mom! just because someone has a kid doesnt make them undateable. some guys like kids!!!!!! your a jerk.

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A Career Woman (Female, Mexico City, 29-35, Executive) answered:

Screenname: sofi


What for would a single mom want to date some jerk like u anyways?
GROW UP

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A Sportif (Female, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: lecksgreendragon


lol! You're so funny. Obviously, a single mom has broken your heart or completely dissed you. You have the problem of being in an age range in which most people have been married and many have children from those marriages. Excluding single parents, in this age range, would be on par with me excluding balding men. There are just a lot of them out there--besides, when I enjoy a man his hair isn't an issue. You should feel the same way about single women. AND, there really AREN'T a ton of hot single women in your age group that aren't being snapped up by the truly eligible guys: lots of money, great looks, charismatic, post-graduate education.


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A Thinker (Female, Columbus, 36-45, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: imon2u


LOL, I take offense to that! I think I'm quite a catch. I wouldn't mess around with someone who has simple minded thinking or plays games. I am a single mom, I have a career and a life. I have alot to offer.
Thanks to all of you posters..I appreciate your support!

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, San Francisco, 56-65) answered:

Screenname: chesterdad


I feel ya... At my age, it's tough to find women who don't have kids, and sometimes, the drama just isn't worth it. One of mine ended things by telling me that ALL her weekends, from March through November, were going to be taken up with league sports that she'd just signed her kids up for.
My current one has three kids from two different men, one of whom is in prison since he tried to kill her last March.
Biologically, it makes no sense whatever to get interested in single moms. It's what "Nice Guys" do, right? They're the ones who cough up to pay for all the babies left behind by Jerks, Bad Boys and Outlaw Bikers. You'd think by now, all the Nice Guys would be extinct, since the others seem to have the biological advantage.

I can't understand what women mean about having a "ready made family" for an advantage. All it tells the rest of the world is, "You weren't my first choice."

My current is feeling pretty burned right now, and she's sworn off having a man who won't pay all the bills for her and the kids. That would be okay if her kids all came from an honorable marriage, but they didn't.
Still, we're awfully damn close, and I'd hate to end things because of her other issues.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, 18-21, Construction) answered:

Screenname: rllngstn72


First off, a guy with that STUPID CLOSE MINDED mentality probably made girl a single mom then went to bang the next "hot single chic". Yeah it might not be easy to be with someone that has kids, but you shouldnt completely forget about someone just because she hsa kids, we ALL have our baggage, hers just is a little more visible.if all youre looking for is a good lay, you are not worth their time anyways, they need someone to be their for them. I think, if anything, it doesnt make sense to date guys like YOU.

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, Seattle, 56-65, Construction) answered:

Screenname: greenwind


Single moms are good for a booty call, but they can never be a serious relationship.


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A Guy Critical (Male, Seattle, 36-45, Science / Engineering) answered:

Screenname: bosoxfan


I feel your pain. After dating then marrying a single mom, I discovered that the kids have far more say in the relationship than you do. After the divorce I swore off dating single moms. I realize that there are many wonderful women out there with kids and no man, but trying to make it work is miserable. Being a step-parent is without question the most difficult task there is. Relationships are hard enough without adding that handicap.

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A Player (Male, San Diego, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: alfamale


Man thats classic. I envisioned a dozen hot single moms all beating this loser up with their big ass purses.

What a visual.

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A Thinker (Female, Johannesburg, 26-28, Who Cares?) answered:


wow ... ok maybe i'm easily impressed but i just saw a bunch of people call you a jerk and shallow and yet you still gave them stars! just for that i don't think that you a total jerk.

anyway as for your question - single moms come with a certain amount and type of complications, and younger women with another type of complications, and older woman with another type of complications, feminist, tradtional, black, white, shy, bossy, loud, fun,ambitious - each type of woman (or men) has their positive and negitive aspects. who ever you go for you should be able to see this and decide if the 2 of you can make it workable or not. and if you happen to fall in love with someone as an individual and they fall for you back then it will make all the trouble worth while.

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An Alternative Girl (Female, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: crystaldn2000


Youre kinda stupid to say it goes nowhere,i met a man when i had a 9 month old daughter,WE have three more daughters and been together 11 years. what good came out of you.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: lambchop


So what you're really saying is that us single moms should just stay in the stagnant and sometimes abusive relationships we're in because we have children and are now used goods? Please! Single moms are strong smart women who probably left the relationship they were in to get away from men like you. I wish I could give you a jerk award for this question.

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A Guy Critical (Male, New York, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: goodtogo


Wow. I agree that dating a single mom presents a different set of issues/problems, but I don't know about making a blanket statement like this.

You may be in a different position than me. In my age group, there aren't too many single gals without kids. And I do agree with others that single moms tend to be more mature and don't tend to be as pretentious as others. My hesitation with them is that I can never be the most important person in the world to them, and that is something I really like to feel. But to simply dismiss them all like this is silly. I have heard of success stories with single moms also ... where they've met a guy who becomes almost like a 2nd father to her kids and they live happily ever after. But I agree it can be difficult and you just don't know what you're getting into until you in it.

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A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: susan2us


agrees with bookman .. and who would date you? if i was single and no kids i would have to be desperate to want to hurting for your attention.. im sorry but what you said to all the the single moms that works thier rear ends off and manage to raise their children.. show respect or dont bother typing ok

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A Trendsetter (Female, Charlotte, 36-45, Teaching) answered:

Screenname: jasgirl


Well, if that's how you feel, don't date them. I think you'd be limiting yourself, but hey, that's your deal. Frankly, I'm insulted by your insinuations that single moms don't have anything going for them. I happen to have a graduate degree, a very good job, own a home, and have plenty of friends, male and female. Being a mom has made me a better person, too. And I don't "need" a man in my life. I'm not sitting around waiting for Mr. Perfect and creating all this drama to get him. If someone is in my life, it's because we both want to have a mature, satisfying relationship. Most single moms I know are the hardest working, coolest people out there who know what it takes to make a relationship work, and know how to juggle every facet of their lives. They may have had some hard knocks in life but that just makes them better in dealing with ups and downs. So, if you don't want to date them, fine, but don't dis an entire group of people over your bad experience.

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A Thinker (Female, St.Louis, 36-45, Science / Engineering) answered:

Screenname: ifnot4u


I am such a better person for being a Mom....and now I'm a single Mom. I would not want to go back to the selfish, "it's all about me" type of person I once was. Now, having said that, I have to say to you: I would not want to date or spend time with you. I will never stoop to explain why I'm a single Mom, I just am. Take me or leave me, I don't care. If you're not interested in single Mom's, then you need to pursue the type of women that suit you and not try to make a single Mom feel bad for having a child and being divorced. Good luck to you.

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A Trendsetter (Female, San Francisco, 22-25, Fashion) answered:

Screenname: chiquitabonita83


Well I was burned by a single dad, so my situation was kinda similar. I felt the EXACT same way about men w/ kids after that horrific ordeal, but I've come to realize that you have to judge people on an individual basis. Although it's easier to date someone w/out 'baggage' you never know who you'll fall in love with.

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A Thinker (Female, Charlotte, 29-35, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: velvetc


single moms have a lot going for them mainly maturity. they are over the petty shit in life that most women bitch about. they are equipped to juggle work, family, housework, etc. and if they can fit in a social life, they're not trying to have a bunch of drama. just someone dependable and steady. i think that's a plus over what you get with some women.

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A Guy Critical (Male, 36-45) answered:

Screenname: timtglf


Well I was in a 4 year relationship with a woman who had 4 boys ages 11 to 5. If that wasnt hard enough she always wondered if she was doing the right thing by leaving her ex and everytime we had an argument or broke up she would go back to him. But then would always come back to me...How stupid I was for so long for letting her do this. Its amazing how someone could let a woman take your self esteem and pride away so bad. I hope no other man reading this will let that happen to them

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An Engaged Girl (Female, 18-21, Internet / New Media) answered:

Screenname: ilikegirlz


That is so sad that you feel this way. It is nice to know that not all men are like this. If you don't like dating single moms then DONT! Why do you have to say something like this on the internet? At least it makes you look ignorant, and not someone else. Some guys love kids, so dating a single mom is not a problem. Apparently you had both parents growing up. I know a lot of men who had no father, and because of that they feel for single moms, and ARE willing to step up. Yes, it might be hard but shit, relationships are never easy. And if your not man enough to step up and take the tast of being with a single mom dont knock guys that ACTUALLY ARE!

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 18-21, Student) answered:


I'm in a younger category than most of you [I'm 18] but I've known some single moms my age and they tend to be pretty irresponsible types in general. Like at work, this one girl was always like a half hour late and then when she finally did show up, she'd go on for another 15 minutes about what an asshole the baby's father is. Older single moms [30+] have the marriage excuse and that's not really something I know about, but my question to all the young, teenage, early-20 single moms is: ever hear of an abortion?!?! Guess what -- It's still legal! Screw the kids, get an education!

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