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Leave or stay?
leave or stay? / Sex & Intimacy / 10:20 AM - Wednesday August 24, 2005
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A Career Woman (Female, New York, 36-45, Financial / Banking) asked:


Can you survive sexless marriage?


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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Dallas, 36-45, Consulting) answered:

Screenname: cowgirldiva04


physically, yes. emotionally, no.

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A Mr. Married Guy (Male, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: takerulz


I couldn't. But if you truly love him you will stay. Though I don't see how.

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A Guy Critical (Male, Toronto, 22-25, Student) answered:

Screenname: kobayashi


No. I'm a human not a robot. I start going crazy after 2-3 days of celibracy when my gf is away. I can't imagine a sexless marriage, unless of course the marriage lasted less than 2-3 days.

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An Alternative Girl (Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: pinkgirl


I believe yes you could and the reason why I say yes is because some couples are together mainly because they have known each other a long time, have children, a house, etc. everything together and they trust each other and have a wonderful marriage, but just arent interesting in sex with one another. I have heard of this happening many times and the couple never gets a divorce...

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A Thinker (Female, Kansas City, 46-55, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: sunlady120


I can survive most anything. Would I like it? No.

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A Thinker (Female, New York, Who Cares?, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: pantheraazul


sexless? that is a bit much, but i guess there are circumstances in which you must survive and stay in it. for example, if your husband is paralyzed, you made a promise to love and cherish him through sickness and health, and well, he's sick, forever, and unless he thinks that it is okay for you to meet your needs elsewhere, you owe it to him and your vows to stay by his aside, proving to the world that you are actually in love with this man and not in lust.

if he is going through an impotent phase, well, stick by it, nothing is permanent, and well, you can actually have a good time working on other aspects of your relationship.

a completely sexless marriage, not even for procreation purposes is a friendship. so, no, i would not stay if my spouse was sexually functional and simply choosing not to have sex with me. that's silly.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Indianapolis, 22-25, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: lilylvr24


I know that I couldnt.

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A Career Woman (Female, Washington, DC, 29-35) answered:

Screenname: noelle22


I couldnt...but i did notice you gave raredimonds a 0 cause she said yes, didnt you want honest answers?!

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A Mr. Married Guy (Male, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: redman1


COULD someone? Yes...but unless there is a physical problem, you shouldn't have to.
But marriage is supp. to be forever so each has an obligation to- work it out as hard as you can ( no pun intended )

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Indianapolis, 36-45, Political / Government) answered:

Screenname: hoopsjunkie


personally?? no One of th eways I percieve afection is through physical contact and love making I would nto feel my mate loved me if she did not

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A Player (Male, London, 36-45, Technical) answered:

Screenname: keabl3d


NO

NO

& NO

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A Rebel (Male, Philadelphia, 46-55, Therapist) answered:


A sexless marriage sucks but sometimes you have to survive it. My wife lost all interest in sex after our second child. I fought with her about it for many years. Now I just accept it. I stay for the kids but not forever.

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A Rebel (Male, Detroit, 29-35, Executive) answered:

Screenname: beautifulloser


no

flat out, i couldn't

i would give it my all, but i would either tell her i am getting a mistress or just cheat on her

but i would probably just divorse her for she is not holding up to the CONTRACT of marrage, sex IS part of the contract for marrage

but if it was cause of a sickness and whatnot, i would try but i don't think i could do it

ciao bella

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A Thinker (Female, 26-28, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: angelwolf


not hardly.....if you can't express your love by making love you lose a connection and would probably feel all weirded out, even if you show affection and love other ways you would be left wanting more or maybe even feel empty

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: blowinup101


I don't believe I can... I eventually want to have children.

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A Career Woman (Female, Halifax, 26-28, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: goddess25


I don't think I could, fortunately I get plenty :)

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, St.Louis, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: amy63116


I guess it depends...is it sexless because he physically can't have sex because of an illness or accident? If so, then yes, I would miss it, but I could. Now, if it was because he just lost interest in me, forget it, I'd be out of there.

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A Life of the Party (Male, Dallas, 36-45, Executive) answered:

Screenname: kanaka


I have thought about this....since I am such a freak about getting it regularly....I guess it would depend on how close our friendship was....I have always said that there is the intimacy side to a relationship and there is the friendship side....if one isn't working but the other is, things are ok, not great, but ok, when BOTH are messed up, there is a problem. I would think that a friend wouldn't withhold sex, even if they weren't into it anymore! I guess my answer is no!

Have a great week!

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A Mr. Married Guy (Male, Los Angeles, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: golfguy1


I think that if you truly love this person, you will find a way to make it work out.


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A Guy Critical (Male, 36-45, Technical) answered:

Screenname: compugeek


No! I would shrivel up and die a useless husk. I have a sex drive that rarely lets me alone. I couldn't stay married to a person who didn't want to have sex.

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A Hip-Hop Girl (Female, New York, 18-21, Student) answered:

Screenname: jennyx07


nope i think i will have an affair if its sexless lol

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, San Diego, 22-25, Other Profession) answered:


been there done that but it was't a marriage.... it was torture!!!


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A Life of the Party (Female, 18-21, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: spanishlover


I honestly don't think that I could.

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, Chicago, 46-55, Political / Government) answered:


No way

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A Life of the Party (Female, Philadelphia, 36-45, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: zena


No.I have learned that life is too short and precious to waste. Live life to it's fullest. A marriage without sex, as long as sex is possible,is one without passion and intimacy. Why would you want anything less than a relationship that is filled with passion and intimacy?

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A Life of the Party (Male, Chicago, 26-28, Technical) answered:

Screenname: thefro


Can I walk on water?

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: bsvoboda


Only if you have a fuck buddy.

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A Career Woman (Female, Zurich, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: selerie


dont think so.

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An Alternative Girl (Female, 26-28, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: friendofgreen


i think thats called being friends

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A Life of the Party (Female, Boston, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:


My husband did not have sex with me for three months, so one night I went out and found a guy and brought him home and told my husband that if he wasn't going to take care of it to go to bed so that the other guy could. My husband replied with a you wouldn;t dare, so I did right there in front of him on the living room floor.

Now me and my husband have a healthy sex life and every now and then I get to pick up a guy and bring him home for my husband to watch me with.

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A Guy Critical (Male, Atlanta, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: atticus


Rowing that boat now. Never thought it would happen to me.

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A Creative (Male, Chicago, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: justme3443


I don't know if I can

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A Cool Mom (Female, Cincinnati, 26-28, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: luckyinkentucky


No

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, 56-65, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: dandaroo


Absolutely NOT!!

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A Thinker (Female, 18-21, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: trinitynyx


no

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55) answered:


I am in a sexless marriage. my hubbie says he is not interested in me sexually. He also says he wants a divorce. after 22 years of marriage, thats what I have to show for that.
gives a person a whole new perpective of who they are, when someone you love, gives you the cold shoulder

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