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Take it or not?
take it or not? / Dating / 6:28 AM - Thursday January 26, 2006
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A Creative (Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) asked:


sexless marriage at age of 38, for the past 3 years?


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A Guy Critical (Male, Miami, 46-55, Technical) answered:

Screenname: starburst


DIVORCE.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, 29-35, Political / Government) answered:

Screenname: gwen29


Big NOT!

Why is that? Can it be fixed?
Talked to hubs? Still love him?

You both have a lot of questions to go through! Good luck.

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A Trendsetter (Female, New York, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: shara


Big NO NO.

Get a divorce... Or get a lover... (pls, don't give me a bitch award for this!)


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A Guy Critical (Male, Dublin, 36-45, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: vapo


Many marriages are, from what I heard. It all depends on you. I couldn't take it myself.

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A Career Woman (Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: snifish


Run Forest, RUN!!!!!!!

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A Thinker (Female, Tampa, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: roseytalks


Much too young for a sexless marriage. There must be reasons for this and to give you advice is difficult without knowing more about why. Rosey

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, 36-45, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: heartonsleeve


i was 34 and it was two years for me... that ultimately wasn't what ended the marriage..but it was a big part of it. Talk to your husband seriously about what the situation is, without him thinking you are nagging. Approach the possibility of a marriage counsellor. If he is not willing to do this, then maybe you will need to do some deep soul searching to decide what you want to do. Ultimately you have to realize this is your life and the only one you get, you need to do what makes you happy. I did, and although I have bad moments, I am 100% happier now.

good luck :-)

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, 46-55, Construction) answered:

Screenname: yme4


Unfortunately, this is true of more marriages than you think.
Usually people get so caught up in their lives they forget the romance and taking time out for each other. Women have the children to raise and the men concentrate on careers. When the kids leave and the man has reached the status they want, the couple suddenly finds a stranger living with them in the house.

If you both truely want to change this, it will take hard work. Otherwise, play with the cards you are delt. Better or worse, remember? Lack of sex is NOT grounds for a divoce

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A Rebel (Male, 36-45, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: kindashy1


No way could I live with that. Thankfully, I am quite lucky in that regard at age 40.

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A Hippie Chick (Female, 26-28, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: kesee


I'd stay if he was a billionaire or something like that. Then he would likely be too busy to notice that I had a couple of boyfriends on the side;) But if he was just a normal ol' guy, I would have been gone 3 years and 11 months ago.

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A Father Figure (Male, Ottawa, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: falconf1


Define sexless.

My wife and I were going really hot. Then she got pregnant. For health reasons we were told not to have sex (although as she admitted she was not in the mood at all). 13 months sex free. 1 time. Pregnant again! Another 16 months sex free!

So 1 time in nearly 3 years, and then with the kids we were averaging 1 time every 6 months.

I love her and we are still going strong and sex is picking back up.

So what is sexless? And why is it sexless? And do you love him? And does he love you?

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A Mr. Married Guy (Male, Miami, 36-45, Political / Government) answered:

Screenname: greekattorney


Before you quit on a marriage, (unless its cheating or abuse) I always recommend counseling and communication first. Try. This is a marriage, not dating. You made promises to each other - and once had deep love. Don't throw that away without trying first.

However, if nothing works, then perhaps the love has died and the marriage should be terminated so that both people can find happiness. I would certainly not stay in a sexless marriage indefinitely.

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