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Single moms
single moms / Dating / 2:15 PM - Friday August 11, 2006
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(Female, 29-35) asked:


What's with the stigma of single moms? So many men on this site and from personal experience says that single moms live in poverty, made bad choices, have too much baggage and/or are damaged goods. Are we just supposed to just abandon our kids because the guy decides he wants out? We can't help if a guy changes and bails. Sorry!


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A Trendsetter (Female, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: nove10


Aman!! very well said and Iam standing up and applauding you! Iam a single mom and I couldnt agree with you more!

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A Career Woman (Female, Portland, 29-35, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: sm913


I agree.

I am a single mother, I in no way live in poverty- I support myself and my children very well thank you- my ex is the one who has made the bad choices and everyone has "baggage", it's called "life happens" and my children will never be referred to as baggage by me or anyone else...and I am a lot of things but "damaged" is definately not one of them ;)

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Philadelphia, 18-21, Student) answered:

Screenname: utahbabe


I have incredible respect for single mothers. My mom was one. I feel the same about single fathers too, btw. Raising children is the most important thing any person could ever do, so if someone has enough gusto to do it on their own, I give them a standing ovation.

Men probably run from it because they realize what a responsibility it is, and know that they couldn't handle the pressure. Hey, kids are an instant test. If the guy is cool with them, you know he has potential.

Good luck! You're amazing!

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A Thinker (Female, Baltimore, 22-25, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: sunkissedvixen08


Well, I would have to say that those guys are absolutely right. Here's why...
Financial status: Raising two or more people (including self) one one income...not the best way to live in America and in some cases considered poverty.
Bad choice: Having sex....(not the kid).
Baggage: Trying to be perfect mothers. Also groceries and diapers.
Damage: Knowing that many men will look down on us for being single mothers instead of admiring our strength...which causes us to develop tough skin.

Who cares if there are some or even many men out there who look down on us. We have to lift ourselves up above all of that. If you live your life wondering why this guy or that guy doesnt want you...you're taking your mind off your kids and that's gonna make you fall into that negative hole. Continue to love, raise, and mold your kids....the right man will come along and you all will be happy.

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A Rebel (Male, San Jose, 22-25, Internet / New Media) answered:

Screenname: chavis


nope you just gotta find a man who is grown up and mature and not selfish..... which isnt easy.... hahah good luck.... they're out there.. believe me

<----- plenty of single dads out there too... dont forget about them

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A Jock (Male, Chicago, 26-28, Science / Engineering) answered:

Screenname: oserus98


I don't believe most of those stereotypes you listed, but I find it hard to date a single mother just because of how independant most of them are cause they have to be with a child. I've went out with many very attractive single moms and thought there could be something but then their personality ruins it because their child has changed them as a person and I'd prefer to have this change happen when I'm with this person going through the same thing with my first child.

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A Career Man (Male, Chicago, 26-28, Construction) answered:

Screenname: bradd0ck


Its a choice, just like how certain women like tall men, or certain men like big boobed blondes. Its a personal choice, Me personally, I don't want to take care of some other dudes kids. No offense, it's my choice though. Right now that is not something I want to deal with. Maybe later in life, that might change, but like I said, It's a personal choice.

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A Thinker (Female, Phoenix, 22-25, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: castleonacloud


Fact of the matter is that the majority of single moms do live in poverty but that's because they aren't getting any monetary support from the men who gave them those children. I haven't encountered any situation in my own personal experience where men shy away from me because of my child. Of course, I don't live in poverty, I have a decent paying job that is friendly towards my role as a single mom. I can say that I am truly blessed and if any man can't see that then they aren't worth the toilet paper that wipes their butt.

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