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Is cyber sex cheeting?
is cyber sex cheeting? / Sex & Intimacy / 12:26 PM - Thursday August 17, 2006
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A Thinker (Female, 36-45, Self-Employed) asked:


over the past 2 years I've been exchanging sex stories with different men via email. I never meet them, never give them my real name. Most of them are married and claim to have "sexless marrieges" and that writing me (and whoeverelse) is thier only sexual outlet. My question has 2 parts: 1) Is cyber sex - particularly in story form - cheeting? 2) Why do so many men claim to haev a sexless marriage but upon futher exploration, they reveal thet they do have sex with their wives, just not the way they'd like to...what's up with that?


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A Life of the Party (Male, Dallas, 36-45, Executive) answered:

Screenname: kanaka


I think cyber sex is like trying a weaker drug....you get a taste for it and then want more...a bigger rush and next thing you know you are having phone sex then meeting! If someone REALLY knows what they are doing in cyber, they can make you feel incredibly turned on....it is only natural to wonder what they sound like....look like, etc. So while I don't think of cybering as cheating, I DO think it is something you shouldn't do if you are involved seriously.

As to the sexless marriages, they just say that to get sympathy....and give women some justification for doing things with them "Well his wife gives him NO attention at all!"!

I hope this helps! Have a great day!

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A Rebel (Male, Los Angeles, 46-55, Consulting) answered:

Screenname: kravjar666


1. Sharing stories is not cheating. It's like having a dirty pen pal.

2. As an undersexed husband, I can note that, in many many marriages, the sex is much less than the partner would have it. (This also applies to many woman I've spoken to.) My wife just has a lower sex drive than I do. For years, our relationship deteriorated due to resentment of the lack of sex on my part, and low self esteem and lack of intimacy (as a result of the resentment) on her part.

It's a pretty typical cycle. The frequency drops, the variety drops, and ultimately someone is living day to day to day with lots less sex than they need.

Good luck and God bless

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: robbie762


I personaly don't think that cyber sex is cheating, I've done it many times, with my s/o knowing, and she has as well...maybe more along the lines of entertainment, such as watching porn or looking at girlie mags. or porn sites. I would think that those who make the claims you're talking about, do so as part of the fantasy they are fulfilling by exchangeing emails with you. That's just my opinion.

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