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Single Mom trap!!
Dating / 4:08 PM - Wednesday February 14, 2007

Single Mom trap!!

Ok, does anyone else feel that dating single moms is pointless? I mean, if you're a single successful guy, why would you want to date a chick that already has kids? With all the hot single chicks
with no kids who are available, it makes no sense to date or even worse, get married, with a single mom. What good can come out of this? I would encourage guys that have something going on with their lives to not get involved with these single moms. It leads nowhere!!

- Asked by A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Managerial

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I would agree with you. However, if a girl is smoking hot,
then it is worth checking out.-esp. if you had nothing else
going on at the time.The problem with a chic with a kid- is'
the kid is ALWAYS the priority- and you have to play daddy-
I want to be able to enjoy JUST the woman - not have to worry
WHEN I can have alone time without the kid.A woman with a kid
is always damaged goods- if you can get a hot woman without
kids- its ALWAYS beter !

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55

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keep bangin dude, keep bangin....

- Response by sherocks, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Dallas, Internet / New Media

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it seems like u got burnt by a single mom-u have no right to judge-or try to get all guys not to date a single mom-single moms are people to with feelings who have went through allot-and are starting over-
maybe no one should date a rebel-
and by the way i am dating a very successful guy who is half my age-and i am a single mom-and we get along great-
maybe u are to judgemental-or as ur name is a rebel


- Response by blondiee, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, New York, Political / Government

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I think that is an asshole thing to do. I married a single mom...... I think they have more love in their heart than women without children. You ever think that hot women don't wanna be with an asshole? By the way, my wife is hot..... she just had a child...Give me a Break.

- Response by bhsjr, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35

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you musta had a bad expereince. Yes a guy has to accept that she has other people in her life that she loves, and she will put in front of your wants or urges. But once you become a father you will do the same thing (well if you are a fatehr that is worth anything). What you get is a woman that you love, and the kids are just part of the deal. Actually its not really very long till you just figure they are kids you are raising, and they become yours.

- Response by hoopsjunkie, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Indianapolis, Political / Government

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I've dated single fathers. So what's wrong with a guy dating a single mother? Not everyone is materialistic, and self-centered.

- Response by underthestars, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, San Jose, Medical / Dental

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From how you've written your post, I can see that you must have a very high level of literacy and written expression...which must surely mean that you have a whole lot going on with your life...lol...good luck with that.

I, myself, prefer a man who knows how to spell and punctuate, just for starters. My 9-year-old son has more going on with his life than you do, apparently. At least he knows how to use a question mark, and he knows the difference between "there" and "their," and "your" and "you're." He also knows that one puts a capital only at the beginning of a sentence. Gosh, he even proofreads!

He has a single mom. LMAO.

- Response by mssmartieblondie, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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I agree but not for the same reason.

I know some really cool, sexy single moms. Plus, the independence they exude is sort of a turn on.

But, they were a no for me when I was single because when you break up with the mom, technically you also have to break up with the children. That can be pretty rough. They don't understand.

- Response by curadvent, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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My husband's brother married a woman with two kids. They are together 26 years now. If you have the choice, maybe you don't want to get involved, but if you love the woman then you can probably love her kids too. Never say Never. You don't know what good things are in store for you. You might even really enjoy a built in, ready made, family.

- Response by rosekohn, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Philadelphia, Teaching

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I'm happy for you that you seem to have all your ducks in a row. You must be Mr. Perfect then, right? May I assume you are over 6', washboard abs, with a killer smile and sparkling eyes? Oh, and you DO have all your hair, correct? And a net worth of at least 1 million? A FICO score of 750 or above? OK, if you can answer with a YES to all of the above, then you may go out there and pick the Barbie doll of your choice! YUP, darlin' there's plenty of 'em in Los Angeles!

- Response by venusdarkstar, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Consulting

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I have dated single moms. To each their own. I personally try to avoid them now. But you never know. I hated having to deal the kid's dad.

- Response by code, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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you're an idiot

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Who Cares?

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being a former single mom myself, if it weren't for guys like you there wouldn't be single moms. thats why so many dead beat dads. my son still calls my second husband dad, they went fishing together, played ball and played cards, they had a blast. to this day my ex still thinks of my son as his and i encourage that closeness. guess you don't need anybody but yourself really, cause FAMILY is what life is all about....

- Response by sherijol, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Retired

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Well you are generalizing. In reality a single mother out there could be one hell of a woman and an amazing catch in comparison to the 'single chic'.

- Response by lovable077, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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my kids and i are better off without you. we thank you...

- Response by luckycowgirl, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Celebrity

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Sorry, I think you are way off base with this one.

I am involved with a beautiful woman who has a fantastic personality, is very intelligent, witty and drop dead gorgeous. And, she has 2 kids.

If you find someone that you really want to be with and have a great life together, then you have to consider everything that goes with that person. And i mean EVERYTHING.

After all, put yourself in that situation and see how you would feel about YOUR attitude then?



- Response by beefy, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, London, Executive

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ok...u had to have a really bad experience with women with kids.dating a women with children true enough is a preference but hey they need love to.stand in that woman with children's shoes.how would u feel if u were a single dad and someone said this about u?regardless of the sex there will always be some sort of drama involved but u(the person)has to be big enough and strong enough to take and roll with it.yes there r attractive women out in the world with out children but does that make them better?probably not and does that make them want u?Maybe/maybe not.
Whatever your past experiences i wouldn't let them base your total opinion on single mom's.not a single parent nut i have several frineds both female and male who have no problem finding a date.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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Narrow-mind, shallow heart, immature thinking.

Boy, you certainly have alot of learning to do!

- Response by overloaded, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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All the women who are bashing you are probably single mothers, themselves, and I doubt they're thinking rationally when they answer because they are offended to think a man wouldn't want to date them. But it's completely realistic to assume that if you have kids by one man, all other men won't want you as much as if you were single. It's not that complicated.

I wouldn't want to be with a man who had kids, either, because it's too much baggage. I don't want to be raising some other woman's kids simply because she and the man were divorced or something like that. If she died, that's totally different.

- Response by ladysirene, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25, New York, Other Profession

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Wow. I didn't realize that it would be pointless to date me because I was married before and had two kids. It's cool though, my girls and I deserve better than your type, anyway.

- Response by befuddled, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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WHAT, we ask to be single moms. Im married and if i lost my hubby for any reason....i would maybe date again BUT let me make it clear NOW. I am not looking for a daddy for my child...Im looking for a companion..nothing more...YOU TAKE US ALL OR NONE OF US

- Response by stace25, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Home Maker

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Funny how people get on the defensive on this. We all have certain things that we look for in a mate. What is the big deal we all have preferences. You just don't want to date single mother, there is nothing wrong with that. All of these people calling you selfish and a child are morons. It is no different than when a woman wont date a short man or a man not dating a heavier set woman. We all have preferences and we just have to keep on our toes when looking for a mate.

- Response by code, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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So true.

- Response by ponadidas, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Pittsburgh, Other Profession

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This sexy single mom would turn you down before you even knew I had kids... reason - immaturity has a way of showing through simple conversation, and I don't have time for little boys, I already have kids!

- Response by pagirl, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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If single moms are pointless to date, then so are single dad's. Either way you get drama with the ex's and the children.

- Response by chickymama46, A Life of the Party, Female, 56-65, New Orleans, Medical / Dental

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I'm right with you on this issue. I just don't buy "frosty21's" idea. Is she single because she's divorced or single again because of the death of her husband- this is understandable but then I would want someone who has not been married before. Marrying a single mom who is divorced doesn't cut it for me.





- Response by manny1012, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28, Student

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I agree. When I find a women I want to spend the rest of my life with I want all of the kids to be from me.

- Response by sge0002, A Career Man, Male, 22-25, Seattle, Science / Engineering

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Here is food for thought... All these people have gone on and on about how single moms are so great and wonderful and you're an idiot for not dating them. But I'd ask this question:

If they're so great... why are they single?

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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Why are some people calling this guy an ass? Everyone is entitled to date WHOEVER they want to date. If he doesn't want to date single moms that's his choice. don't call him an ass for stating his choice. If you choose to date tall men or brunette women that's your freaking choice and no one calls YOU an ass.

In addition, everyone complains that men and women stop calling and never give an explanation. Well here is a guy who's telling the truth right off the bat and he's an asshole.

I personall would NOT date a man with kids. I ALWAYS came in second and I got tired of most of his money going to his ex-wife. I don't bust my ass at work week in and week out so that my paycheck can go to someone else's kids.

If you're a single mom I'm sure there are a million men who would date you so don't jump in this guy's post for stating the truth.

- Response by ebm3, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I don't think a lot of single parents realize what an imposition they are putting upon the people they date. If a woman has full custody of a young kid she can never get away for a weekend, there are no spontaneous dates.

One woman I dated had a 14 year old son and I went to approximately 45 of his soccer games (in various cities) over about 9 months and all of this for a boy who wouldn't talk to me. She at least could be his mother but no matter what I did I would never be his father, I would never be considered his family.

I think people do need to "know thyself" and have an idea of what they want their life to be. If a guy wants to spend weeknights and every weekend going mountain biking, going to parties, living an active, adventurous social lifestyle then dating a woman with kids will be frustrating to both.

Deciding to date women with kids is deciding to give up a chunk of your freedom. To make it worth it those situations have to be giving back something that guys can't get from women without children. If a man wants a family and that is what is being offered then these can be sweet deals: Instant family and you get to skip the diaper phase.

In no way, shape or form is it "being an asshole" to pass on a relationship deal if you think you can get better elsewhere - Everybody (including single moms) do the same.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Technical

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Well I'm a single mom. I'm also a successful career woman. I went back to school after when I was married so I could be a better contributor to my husband & 2 kids & while I was studying my ass off, my "hubby" was out f*cking his ass off. So I left, finished school w/o his help or support, got a huge raise & promotion, bought my own house & a new car...you know the rest!!!!

I'm done having kids, my kids are in high school & almost self-sufficient. I don't want any guy who's still so immature & selfish that he can't see me for who I am & what I have to bring to the relationship. & I'm only 36!

- Response by fbomb101, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Boston, Managerial

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No...I don't see a problem with dating someone who has a kid. Sometimes, there is a very strong emotional connection with the other person, and that's what's important. I would date someone with a kid... I have.. and it was fine.

- Response by ladydimples, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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What is not your cup of tea might be something another guy is looking for...it might lead nowhere for a guy like you, but might lead to happiness for someone else.

One man's poison is another man's cure.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Technical

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i grew up with a single mom who was hurt over and over because guys couldnt "see themselves with her" after they found out about me. i think there is nothing more shallow and pathetic than a person who is as immature as you.
to each his own, but coming from the child of one of your 'nonsense' relationships... it shouldn't matter. love is love- even if there are kids in the picture.

- Response by thisblondegirl, A Thinker, Female, 18-21, Student

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You mean it's probably always better to make sure you date a single girl that suddenly, after 3 years of being with her she suddenly "needs to find herself"?


I don't see anything wrong with it. You just have to be a little more understanding and stronger to date them vs. the single childless women.

- Response by joes22, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 22-25, Other Profession

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Damn some single mother has done a # on you!!! Well thank God for men who marry single mothers, it allowed me to know the best man in my life i.e. My Father. He loved me as his own, and to be honest not even my closets friends even knew he wasn't my birth father. I was his daugter plain and simple, not his step daughter, or my mom's child, but his alone. It takes a special man to be able to accept another woman's child as there own, to love there mother with every fiber of his being, thank God for men that are willing to take this on and can see past the pitfalls (lies) that are fed to them about single mothers.

I am a single mother myself, and I have a wonderful man in my life that not only loves me, but also my son. I have everything to offer a man that a non-single mother does, looks, success, heart and charachter. A man wants a "good woman" and there are plenty of us single mothers out there that are "good women"!!!

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Who Cares?

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I hope you end up knocking someone up and knowing what it feels like to have responsibility. Just because she has kids, doen's mean they are your responsibility. I would assume a single mom wouldn't be interested in someone as irresponsible and arrogant. Open your eyes. Finding someone is about the other person.

- Response by tlc8338, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Internet / New Media

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You wrote: "I leads nowhere!!"

Yes, you certainly have with this post.

You are entitled to your preference for single women with no kids and I am entitled to my preference for an open minded, selfless man who will go somewhere with his life.

- Response by tipssy, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Consulting

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Hey Rebel...can you spell vasectomy? You should look into it. Maybe you could save a buck or two and just get neutred.
Are the single mothers supposed to just throw in the towel on their lives and give up on any companionship with the opposite sex?
Are you really saying that no good could come out of a relationship with kids? Somehow I can't even feel sorry for you.
P.S. yes, I was a single mom. My husband was killed by a drunk...so I guess, in your book that's fair.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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In all fairness, you are somewhat right. But to assume that all single mothers, fit that behavioural pattern/description is just wrong. Oh well! To each his own!

- Response by miasma, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Toronto, Science / Engineering

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When I met my second husband, I had a two year old. He was single, successful, but his life felt empty. Even though I had a child, I was the most put together women he had ever dated. His last g/f may have been childless, but lacked common sense and responsiblity. When I met him, she was in jail for her second DUII. So, as you can see, single mothers may have a responsibility (the most rewarding in life) but we can have our shit together. I'm so thankful my husband didn't have your perception of single mothers. He's the best thing that ever happened to me and my daughter. For the leading nowhere part...we have another daughter now and are as happy as when we met.

- Response by agentorange, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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wow, tread lightly, you may get eatten alive, Just because someone is a single mom doesn't mean they are damaged goods. If someone viewed your mom this way ow would you feel.

- Response by oceanluva, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Boston, Who Cares?

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*Yawn*

Check out the date on the following post... that I made as a rebuttal to a surprisingly very similar question done HOW LONG AGO?
(I looked and couldn't find the original question you copied. I guess I hadn't bothered to answer it.)

Single Man Trap / Dating / 1:32 PM - Saturday August 20, 2005

A Creative (Female, 36-45, Who Cares?) asked:


Any single, or divorced women notice that the older you get, the less good catches there are?
Even if you're really attractive.
It's not that you don't attract men. It's just there's major flaws with the ones available to you now.
The older men get, if they aren't married or haven't been in good long-term relationships, the more there's something terribly wrong with them.
They're drunks, have no money, no house, beater car, rotten teeth, and basically, don't keep themselves up.
Permission for the "single mom trap" author to take this one very personally.

Have a nice day, Mr. Original. Ha.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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