A Question for the men...

It is not you. If he wants to have sex, has put in the effort to get you hot and ready, he really wants to do it. Desire is not the problem.

Sometimes, it takes a little effort on the woman's part to get the guy hard. Or really hard. This might be you. A guy doesn't have to get hard just sucking on your tits and kissing and getting you hot. He knows he needs to do that, and since he wants to put it in you, he works at it. But some guys need the woman to work on him as well. Lots of hand action, some sucking, playing with his balls, making him think you want him to fuck you, not just that you are willing to be fucked. Subtle difference, but in the still functional part of the male brain during sex, sometimes he doesn't want to seduce the woman but have her want to be a part of this.

You don't say how much you helped. For me, sucking almost always brings it to full hardness. But guys are really variable.

If you were working at it, maybe he was having some performance anxiety. He wants it to be memorable. He really wants you to view him as a stud. He gets you ready, you are laying there expecting this long hard penis to be shoved in, the pressue is on him, and like anything in which you try to hard, it fails.

And as soon as it happens, it gets worse. Now the pressure is really on. He knows you are going, "what a limp dick, why am I wasting my time, I could have someone with a hard penis in me by now". And so, it goes limp. Damm, I hate it when that happens.

But it does happen. It never used to, but recently I had a lot of pressure on me at work. I have always been rock hard, suddenly it would just be half hard at best. Not hard enough to drive into anyone, in fact, wierd to suck on. I consulted a doctor, and he thought stress. It took several months to recover from it.

But your observation is correct. Even if it doesn't get hard, it still feels good to fuck someone. Even to have it sucked on feels great, and a guy can still cum. It just doesn't get hard.

And then there is the dredded ED. This can at least be helped by the proper application of a little blue pill. The problem is blood flow. The desire is there, the will is there, testosterone is there, but there is just not enough blood in the area to get the penis pumped up. Internally there is a valve that closes and shuts off the blood flow out, so it gets pumped up.

He works hard at getting you hot and horny because he wants to fuck you. He hopes it will work. Either he needs you to help him, he needs to destress so it works, quit worrying about it, or get some medical help.

Without more detail that is the best I can do.

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What you appear to be speaking of is ER or Erectile Dysfunction.

This can be caused by 1. stress, 2.high blood pressure, 3.high cholesterol, 4. diabetes, 5. heart problems (not usually) and several other medical problems.

Get him to a doctor where he can explain the concern to the doctor. Erectile Dysfunction is most likely as he can come with a half erection and that shows to be sighs of the first four mentioned. Medication can be also contributing to his concern.

Be assured it is nothing to do with you, as you are supportive and encouraging but just somewhat frustrated due to his inability to become fully erect, when he was always able to do so before.

It is frustrating for him as well, and it is unlikely that he is masturbating too much as with Er it is difficult to masturbate to a climax.

When I first experience this performance I was sure it was my girlfriend who had turned off to sex and would lay there and say, "Well put it in." It took awhile for me to learn that it was not her or me but ER and once I discovered the cause was able to take medications to overcome the concern.

The girlfriend never improved her attitude so she had her own problems, menopause and a dislike for sex. So I quit worring about her and started being concerned for myself.

It worked, I recently, after breaking up with her, found a lady that did not want sex due to her medication, but she gave head like never experienced before by me. So once your medication falls into effect as does your confidence return so does the erection.

It just takes an understanding women who cares enough for you to work with you.

You appear to be dealing realistically with the concern just do not know arout Erectile Dysfunction. Which has some medical concerns including health concerns. Get you lover to a doctor and I am sure that things will turn around, they did for me. I had to get a new lady friend, even though it was brief as she had to move on, but now I know I can function fully and adequately.

Besst to you preciouse lady, I only wish I had a lady with your attitude when I first discovered Erectile Dysfunction.

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really need more info on the guy,and especally how old is he? will he go down on you?orally! have you ever gone down on him?
also you two need to talk about what really turns him on, are you dominant with him or is he dominant with you, there are many factors involved here they must be ruled out before deciding if his problem is medical.

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Honey run RUN away as fast as you can!! This guy will not change. This happened to me too, with my bf. He could not get it up!! Before he put his thing inside me he came, he couldn't even put a condom because he would go soft on me. He said that he went to his doctor and that he was fine. Things didn't change and he was having problems with premature ejaculation. Just do yourself a favor and drop him. Save yourself the frustration, or if you stick around for soo long, you will have an urge to cheat on him since you are not having any pleasure. This guy is trouble.

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