I am a guy that has been cheated on twice. The first girl said it was because I was gone working and school so much she wanted my attention back. She got it in a negative way. I have since forgiven her and I'm going back out with her since she has matured a bit. The other girl cheated on me multiple times with multiple times of forgiveness. When she started the i love you then I hate you stuff, I suggested counsiling. She was found to be bipolar. She was fine on meds, then wanted to go into the military. She had to stop her meds for it, and turned into a raging bipolar mean person. She also dated me and another guy from a neighbor state for almost a year. We both found out, and now she's still trying to get me back. The only down side is the scars she left has left me emotionally inept to provide what my girlfriend wants and needs in a relationships and I don't trust women anymore. I have become a paranoid mean person myself trying to defend my dignity, self respect, and my heart.

I really wish people didn't cheat. It hurts more than just the person you are with by the long term effects. If you feel the need to cheat, don't be in the relationship anymore, but at least have a good reason to leave and not just because you want sex. Sex isn't the important part of sharing your life with someone, it's just an expression of emotions felt between the two.

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A Rebel (Male, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:

I've never been cheated on or have cheated but I get the feeling it's because people feel trapped in the situation they're in. That they don't love their mate like they use to. Feel guilty so they DON'T want to break it off. Carry on a seperate relationship so that it rewards themselves for being somewhat faithful. And fulfills the appreciation they've been wanting from someone else. Too many committed relationships seem to have created this unseen "contract" and most people feel linked to, out of obligation and not because they want to.

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A Rebel (Male, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

In my case I knew this girl from 30+ years ago. The thoughts I had of her were embedded in my mind. I did not crave for her but I remember her through the years. I married had kids I'm proud of, my relationship was good to crude. In fact my first born was named somewhat after her. I met up with her and my heart jumped out of my chest. We didn't say a word we just started to hug and and kiss. Our love is strong for each other along with everything else. Words cannot describe the feelings we have. The end is coming to my marriage and not because I found her but maybe just maybe I replaced my wife with my girl friend from long ago all these years.

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It's been two months since an affair ended with a married man that I truly loved. According to "him" he never wanted to separate from his family and 35 years of marriage. He was honest with me about that. He and his wife were true friends and she was a wonderful person as well, however, sex was missing for him. I came along, we were attracted to each other and after a few months we began a mutual sexual relationship that we both needed. His wife found out about me and he told her the truth and promised her he would end it. He did. We both had a wonderful time together. Now it's over. I am miserable without him. If I could have things over again I would have "ran like hell was after me" because now I realize it was. I still love him and I worry that I caused him pain because she found out about me although I was not the cause of that happening. I hope that she is loving the hell out of him but I know that their live together is virtually sexless and now probably more strained than before I came along. My advice, based upon my experience, is that a married couple need to keep a healthy sex life together and never take each other for granted. I was married for 22 years and my husband died suddenly. I never cheated while I was married. But I did have an affair with a married man afterward. It wasn't planned. It just evolved. And we were wonderful together. I could have lived that way forever and I think he could have to. When it come down to him losing his family it was over. It had to be that way. He did not want to separate from his family nor did I want him to. We found ourselves in the middle of a losing game and all of us lost something. Maybe we all learned something as well.

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I have cheated, I have been cheated on... whatever it is natural. I am young, in college, of course I see it as natural. But even when we get a little older, how well do we get to know what we want? I have cheated when I have gotten bored of my relationship, I have cheated because I actually like spending my time with two different people. I have cheated because what one guy lacks, the other might have, vice versa. I am very fickle and also very hard to satisfy, so sometimes it takes me more than one guy to be satisfied. Of course we can all consider the possibility that I am insecure, and stuff like that...but w.e. I have had fun. Although it did hurt to be cheated on, but the fact that I have cheated helped me feel better...'it is natural'
But I do hope to one day find someone who I can satisfy enough so that I don't get cheated on, and also hope that person can satisfy my sufficiently so that I don't have a need to cheat.

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