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Divorce
Divorce / Family & Parenting / 4:35 AM - Thursday August 07, 2008
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(Male, 29-35) asked:


i am divorced since 3 years with 2 children.
my children are with me.
my ex again came in contact with me about 2 months back, and she wants to be back.
she attempted 2 suicides during our married life and went to her parents for long periods (3-months) on 3 occasions. The divorce was her idea, and was on mutual consent with me paying her alimony also.

now i am confused. My daughter (8 years) started remembering her since they met last about 2 months back. My daughter has written a letter to me(she is in a residential school) stating that she wants to meet Mummy, and that she cries for her in the nights. Her letter has devastated me more than the divorce itself.

can anybody tell me what to do?


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A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: steff1973


Run in the other direction as fast and as far as your fet will carry you. Your daughter can never be satisfied knowing a person like that. I would have a sitdown with your daughter and warn her that some people are not nice, and a mommy who leaves her baby is one of those people. If she does see her mother,make sure she is in counciling also to deal with this...

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A Thinker (Female, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: pres


im devastated even reading this info

this is not a time of false nobility. i would say go fully with what Steff1973 has said. if it is feared of psychological problems for not know both parents, well, see advice on this while seeking counselling immediately after each meetup with your ex if there are any meetups allowed.

i had a female friend who declared divorce while yet lost custody but allowed minimal visitation by her daughter (think i got that right), was always messing up her child's mind and that really would cause even greater damage.

really, your ex's suicidal attempts are no example for the child. your daughter's attachment could have arisen out of her manipulation, which i see is what is happening with my neighbour's wife.

bottomline, keep damage to the minimal.

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A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: chichek


Let you children see her and spend some time with her. They still can hang out together once in a while. Children must get to know both parents otherwise it'll cause psychological problems later. Whether you remarry her or not, make sure your kids and their mom are in good relationship. Hope everything works out for you.

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