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Uncensored Responses

Marriage
Marriage / Married Life / 8:33 AM - Thursday August 07, 2008
A Creative (Female, 29-35, Teaching) asked:


How many of us here continue to believe in marriage? If you do decide to marry (or marry again), what will be your reason for doing it?



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A Jock (Male, 18-21, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: sonofchivalry


Marriage is about loving someone so very much that you would do more die for him or her, sacrifice your life to live for them. If both do this it is the most lasting and fruitful relationship possible between two people. It is risky, nevertheless, for if one loves the other undyingly, yet the other loves themselves only, it leads to misery.

We, however, live in an age where the chief concern of everything we have learned to care about, both in mercilessly force-fed doctrine and a prevalent, unfaltering creeds, is aimed solely to one’s self. Marriage is still a viable union, but if to be successful, you must be sure that they love you, rather than the mere presence of a meager attraction.


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A Rebel (Male, Pittsburgh, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: bytor


I still believe, even after three failed ones..... and for the same reasons as ever; Love.


If I love someone, the greatest committment I CAN ever make to them, is marriage..... now, if I can just get one of THEM to take it as seriously as I do..................... ...............

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Who Cares?) answered:


I believe in marriage because I as a woman want to be loved and have the security and comfort that comes with knowing you have a life partner.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, St.Louis, 36-45, Retail) answered:

Screenname: rexy67


Even after being in an abusive marriage for 19 years, I decided to try again and am glad I did. Makes me feel better knowing it really is taken seriously by some.

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 66 or older, Retired) answered:

Screenname: joat


I DO! However, I will only get married again if some woman gets
ME pregnant!

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A Trendsetter (Female, 29-35) answered:

Screenname: pinknblu


i still believe in the fondation of maRRiage.
Yes, i would marrY, because i've waited, sowed my wild oats, lived out my 20's and i know what i want right now in life And i know who i am, and i know what i'll settle for.
:/

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A Career Woman (Female, 36-45, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: blackkat


I believe in the sancity of marraige and the family unit. I also acknowledge that it's not right for some people, me included. Tried it twice, never again.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: ladywisteria


Why would I marry again? I would have to be very drunk and Elvis would perform the ceremony in a chapel in Las Vegas!

;)

Lady W*


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A Thinker (Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: cougar01


Because I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

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An Alternative Girl (Female, 22-25, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: sugarlump


In the 21st century, where more people are remaining single or live in relationships than getting married, it seem that an increasing number of people don't care about marrying anymore and prefer to live together and many of these relationships are working.

Personally, I still believe in marriiage. If I met the right person and he wanted to get married, I would certainly consider it because it would be lovely to pledge myself to someone I want in my life, for however long it lasts. I do not need a mariage certificate to show me that I love my partner and neither do I need to be married to appreciate the relationship.

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Milwaukee, 22-25, Food Service) answered:

Screenname: twilightzone85


I believe in Marriage and I know how to make it work. Dont cheat, keep it fresh, dont spend more time away from home than you have too. I dont have that many things to lose or a lot of money so I know the women wont be marrying me for that.....

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A Trendsetter (Female, 29-35, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: divatoonami


I beleive in marriage...even after my divorce. I never gave up on love.

I got remarried because I wanted to be legally wed to my husband. I wanted to share his name...and to me that paper means committment to me...lawfully =)

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A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: russianroulette79


I've got to admit,seeing a lot of ppl go thru divorce especially iny my own family has somewhat tainted my belief in something as sacred as marriage but I continue to try and be optimistic about marriage and life in general. I guess when I find the prince after kissing a few frogs, then i'll definitely be a believer lol

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A Life of the Party (Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: catman5169


Being Christian, I believe in the sanctity of marriage. At this point, there is only one woman I know that I would marry...and I've known her since the first grade...52 years ago...

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A Creative (Female, 36-45, Student) answered:

Screenname: fastball


Yes I still believe in marriage and when I marry, I will be doing it because I want to share my life with someone, I want them to share their life with me and I want us to grow old together...:)

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A Thinker (Female, St.Louis, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: michellekia


..marriage isn't so important to me any longer..I would prob only get married again for legal issues..like if my hubby and I owned a home together or other assets..I honestly believe that the love and committment are more important than the marriage...

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A Creative (Male, New York, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: romanticlover007


HELLLLLLS NO......marriage nowadays is a JOKE!!!!

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An Engaged Girl (Female, 46-55, Teaching) answered:

Screenname: pandorasfault


Most of your answers focus on the emotional aspects and justification for marriage, but being "in love" is not the end of the story. There are practical reasons to agree to a contractual domestic partnership, which is what marriage is as much as it is about loving someone so much you would die for them.

There are ways to enter into a contractual domestic partnership without the label of "marriage," but it still amounts to the same thing, so I just call it all marriage. There are tax advantages, shared benefits through one partner's workplace, economies of scale, and, of course, companionship. I don't 'believe' in marrying someone for the economic benefits if there is not a strong basis for happy companionship, but likewise, companionship is not likely to remain very happy if the economic benefits are not present or are seriously compromised. A life companion who gambles away resources, for example, is not a suitable life companion.

I'm getting married again (#2) within about a year or so, and I'm doing it because the man is a highly suitable companion. He's stable, he has more solid benefits than I do (at present, anyway), he is frugal without being stingy, he is healthy and fit and committed to staying that way for his own sake as much as anyone else's, he's easy to negotiate with, he doesn't have unresolved power issues, he's a nurturer and natural born care-giver, he's an excellent traveler, he has compatible aesthetic sensibilities and politics, he's intellectually curious and is interested in what I do, and it generally makes sense to partner up with him.

I would not 'commit' exclusively to him if he was not willing to enter into a contractual domestic partnership. In my experience and observation, people who want the sweetie without the business deal end of it want an easy 'escape' valve so they can walk away at any time without any sense of obligation. That's a good way to get economically screwed over and left hanging out to dry at an age when finding a new partner becomes a monumental challenge.

Because the arrangement of marriage is a contractual domestic partnership, I also 'believe' in having an actual, written contract that is legally binding. My fiance is less enthusiastic about that idea, mostly for rather irrational reasons -- he's afraid that if you go into a marriage with 'provisions for divorce', it will jinx the union. He's been married before with no such provision, and not having a prenuptial agreement just meant that the divorce was that much more expensive and drawn out. What I need to do is convince him that it's not so much provisioning for divorce as it is coming up with pragmatic (not just emotional) marriage vows by which we can live.

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A Creative (Male, New York, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: romanticlover007


HELLLLLLS NO......marriage nowadays is a JOKE!!!!

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A Life of the Party (Male, Denver, 36-45, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: heyzeus


Marraige is not for me, but to each their own.

heyzeus

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A Creative (Male, San Francisco, 26-28, Internet / New Media) answered:

Screenname: foonlord


i do, but ive never been married, so i may be somewhat naive. if half of all marriages end in divorce, i dont think mine will, as i know it will be hard, and believe in communication and honesty with my wife, my teammate.

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A Thinker (Female, New York, 29-35, Teaching) answered:

Screenname: electragold21


If I feel that I have someone that I can't live without and feel really alive, I will say that I believe in marriage. That's the only real justification for it, IMO.

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A Cool Mom (Female, St.Louis, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: laney3166


I do think that some marriages are a joke. But, I have seen people that have worked thru the yrs and have been married a long time. I personally am a bit jealous because that is what I wanted.

Not some abusive ass that was into ownership instead of partnership.

So the marriage is only going to be as good as the attitude and person that is in the marriage. IT really a team effort and many time one part of the team is not wanting to make it work.

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A Couch Potato (Male, 46-55, Celebrity) answered:

Screenname: geester


I cannot see myself getting remarried
I'm too much in love to DO THAT again!

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