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GUILTY
GUILTY / Married Life / 9:04 AM - Thursday August 07, 2008
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A Married Girl (Female, Chicago, 22-25, Other Profession) asked:


My son's Dad came over last night at 12am.

Drunk. His wife kicked him out after the White Sox game bc they got into a fight.

He came by to "Talk" to me.

I had to ask him to leave bc he kept touching me. I am married. He is married. He is also having a baby in 3 weeks.

When I walked him to the door he tried to kiss me and i had to PUSH him off me.

I felt guilty for letting him in. Should I tell my husband?


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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Seattle, 26-28, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: wolfspirit


gm ~hon


and NO ---------------- Not while he is in IRAQ !!!!!

he has enough to worry about *like staying alive* he can't do anything about it from where he is anyway

it will keep until he gets home ......

at least You know NOT to let him back in the house again :)



~wolfie

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A Life of the Party (Male, 56-65, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: poolfish2


I don't think so. You handled the situation very well by yourself, I think it would be bad to get hubby involved at this point. It was probably just a one time incident and won't happen again. If it does happen again, get hubby involved. For now, I'd just let it be over.

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A Life of the Party (Female, Atlanta, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: sassafras


I thought your husband was home already...wasn't he coming home this week?

Or am I confused.

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A Career Woman (Female, Houston, 22-25, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: victoriablonde24


That's a good question. But I would. You didn't do anything wrong, and your ex crossed lines that could come back and bite you if your husband found out. How would he find out, you ask? If your ex is ever around and makes some remark about the occasion. Just be sure to be casual about it. Don't make it out to be more than it was. Just say something like, "X came over here drunk last night and I had to kick him out. He was obnoxious acting." Your husband will be sure to ask details, and you can give them casually in conversation.

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A Thinker (Female, Washington, DC, 22-25, Financial / Banking) answered:


Well, I would wait until your husband gets back to tell him. I'm sure your husband has accepted the fact that you will always have a tie to the father of your son and you will have to keep some form of communication/contact w/ him. What you did was the right thing, and your husband should know about it, but it would probably be best to tell him when he returns, so that he does not worry about not being around to help prevent situations like what happened last night.

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A Rebel (Male, Pittsburgh, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: bytor


I don't think you should HIDE it from your husband... no sense in letting the past come back to harm your present- - - - OR your future!!!!

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A Thinker (Female, 36-45, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: busyb704


you shouldn't have even answered your door. Midnight? he could have talked to you on the phone.

only you know if you should tell your husband. we know nothing about him.

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A Thinker (Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: cougar01


I would tell him, because if you don't and he somehow finds out, it would not be good. He will think you were trying to hide something.

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A Jock (Male, New York, 56-65, Retired) answered:

Screenname: bobboy


because of where your hubby is,I don't think you should tell him right now.I think he has enough on his mind.I'd talk to the drunk when he gets sober and tell him never ever come here again like that.I hope your Hubby returns home safe and very soon.

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Milwaukee, 22-25, Food Service) answered:

Screenname: twilightzone85


I also think. What if he tell your husband. Than he is like mad at you. But you know he should be more mad at him for trying to make the moves on you. After all you could of thought he was there to talk about your son together. Than if you do tell him what if he wants to go fight your sons Dad than he knocks him out or something to that matter and the cops get called and your husband gets thrown in jail....

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A Trendsetter (Female, 29-35, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: divatoonami


Hell yes.

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A Trendsetter (Female, 29-35, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: divatoonami


Remember....HONESTY is the best policy right? You don't want to keep secrets from him....especially if the ex mentions something before you! Good luck!

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Milwaukee, 22-25, Food Service) answered:

Screenname: twilightzone85


I dont think your ex is brave enough to mention this in front of your husband, it be dumb of him to do so. But if you feel that he wasnt so drunk and that he could remember maybe you tell your husband. I know honestly is important but husbands and wifes dont know everything and with good reason. I hope it works out for you but this is really a no win sutution...

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A Married Girl (Female, Miami, 29-35, Home Maker) answered:

Screenname: anonymouse32


no no no and no

and a big HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!

and the next time your ex is ringing on the doorbell after 10pm, dont answer

:o)

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A Thinker (Female, Chicago, 46-55, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: cubbiegal


Ditto Wolfie. Wait until he comes home and don't let it be the first thing you talk about.

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A Thinker (Female, 36-45) answered:

Screenname: drkiana


Quite simply, NO. But keep away from the ex.
Dr Kiana

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55, Home Maker) answered:


My first question would be, was your husband home? seems to me that he would have gone to the door instead of you at that hour. See what drinking does to a person, a cup of coffee would have been the best thing for him at that time, that way he would have keep his hands to himself. I do hope the man was not driving. And if the husband was not at home, I would tell him.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: ladywisteria


Yes I would. It is better to be up front and honest with your s/o for you never know if this can come back in any way to haunt you.

Lady W*


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A Thinker (Female, 22-25, Student) answered:

Screenname: glopsey


I'd tell him. And I'd tell that drunk not to step foot in the house ever again. Man's already got a child and another baby on the way, what the hell kind of jerk is this guy?! o.O

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A Creative (Male, 46-55, Transportation) answered:

Screenname: joseraul


YES.....LOYALTY IS A MUST IN A RELATIONSHIP......AND "TRUST"
IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FEELING............GOOD LUCK...

((HE'LL FEEL BETRAYED IN SOME WAY IF HE FINDS OUT YOUR EX' WAS
IN HIS "CASTLE"...(if youknow what I mean)))

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A Thinker (Female, St.Louis, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: michellekia


..no....why cause trouble...as long as u don't want to act on anything w/your son's father...then just let it be..and u know not to let him in again..

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A Creative (Female, 36-45, Student) answered:

Screenname: fastball


If you're husband is in Iraq, it would be better to wait until he's home safely and then you can tell him what happened and that nothing happened...it's not like you invited him over or like you tried to 'seduce' him anyway...it's better to tell your husband when he's out of danger and in your arms because telling him now could/might end up getting him hurt...:)

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A Creative (Male, New York, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: romanticlover007


HELL NO......he'll probably kick ur ass for that!!!

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A Trendsetter (Female, San Francisco, 36-45, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: msheartbeat


Don't be stupid. I wrote an article about women blabbing everything that comes to their mind or happens to them. What would you tell him for?

#1 What can he do about it thousands of miles away?
#2 What would you think telling him would accomplish?
#3 If he says he came by (since he was drunk), tell him that he imagined all that and that you never even let him in. He'll be so confused and was drunk, so he won't really remember anything anyway.
#4 Husbands don't need to know everything. Some secrets are good secrets, especially since it doesn't affect him or your marraige. This is a thing that you need to keep quiet about and never tell a soul after today.
#5 Don't ever let anyone in to your home when are are staying alone after 8 p.m. except your mother.

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A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: steff1973


Yep, but please reiterate he was drunk and he is the father of your son, and you must spend the rest of your lives connected to this man before he does anything rash. also be sure to mention he left when you said no....

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, New York, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: tnix123


Yes you should but I have a question. Where was your husband at 12am?

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