Could you please offer some resume assistance?

-First two years of college, started a couple of good businesses....did not attend a single class, so failed out...(can't say I regret it, these businesses were times of greatest learning)

-Attended community college and completed 3.5 years worth of coursework in 1 year, 3.5 GPA.
[waste of time]
-Did not learn a single thing in class..a few colleges said they don't mind taking me...but would take me 2 years of life (and tuition)
SO
-Instead of returning to college....I'll start a magazine company.
However, I need a job to cover my living expenses at first.
Should I include the magazine business on my resume? It was a mistake to enroll in community college just to have another chance at college, as I learned as much as if I had been in a coma.
However, I don't want to sound like I was doing absolutely nothing for the past year.
Also, I know if I explain the reason I did not attend a single class was because I felt like I could teach myself more would sound like a silly, lame excuse.
What do you suggest doing if you were me?