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Lonely are the brave.
lonely are the brave. / Body & Self-Image / 1:19 PM - Thursday August 07, 2008
(Male, 29-35) asked:


Do you think people who sit alone in restaurants and read are hoping that someone special will sit down with them someday?

Seriously, who can read in a noisy restaurant? There must be some other reason that they're there...



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An Intellectual Guy (Male, Washington, DC, 36-45, Lawyer) answered:

Screenname: xerxes


Since I am single, and I enjoy good food, I sometimes eat out alone. I am a good cook, and often eat at home, but being single doesn't mean I'm banned from restaurants. :) When I DO eat out alone at a restaurant, I tend to read. What else is there to do if you are alone? I guess I could look around, but once you've looked around and seen everything there is to see within sight, what then? Reading is generally more interesting...

As for not being able to read in a noisy restaurant, its not a problem. If there is a specific sound to distract me, like a song, or a tv show, or one conversation, then yes I find it hard to read - people talking in a library are VERY distracting because all you can hear is their conversation. But if its just a jumble of random noises, like in a noisy restaurant, it becomes much less distracting - there is nothing specific to grab your attention and take it away from what you are reading, its just background noise and easy to ignore.

Wow, I had no idea that as a single person, my reading alone in restaurants caused so much idle speculation among others... :)

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Community Rating: Community Star

An Intellectual Guy (Male, Boston, 36-45, Science / Engineering) answered:

Screenname: llafsroh


If I'm alone I can't eat without reading. So maybe they're like me. They wanted a good meal but can't just sit and eat without some other brain entertainment.

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A Thinker (Female, Miami, 56-65, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: englishrose4945


If it's a good book, I could do it but I'd rather people watch. They just want to look like they are busy doing something instead of staring into space feeling self-conscious.

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A Creative (Female, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: eclectic


Not necessarily...When I'm on business trip..I go to restaurants by myself all the time...and reading just helps so that you don't feel like you're staring at the walls the whole time. :)

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: purrzn


If I have a book in front of me I can tune anything out, and if I'm in a restaturant eating and reading, that's usually perceived as a signal I want to be left alone.

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A Career Woman (Female, Charlotte, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: thottienc


I don't. I just want to eat and read in a social environment without being bothered sometimes. I don't mind the sounds around me; they become like white noise that you barely hear. I really only get to do this nowadays if I'm traveling so I read the paper for a bit and eat, then kind of just people watch.

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A Thinker (Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: cougar01


Some people have the abuility to consentrate

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A Sportif (Female, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: girlpower08


no I don't think they're waiting for someone to suddenly drop from heaven.

They're just brave. They probably didn't have no one to eat with so they decided to eat alone.

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55) answered:

Screenname: kitkat19


i could understand a reader so captivated by written word,he/she has no need to chitchat??? just a thuoght.

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 29-35, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: kungfudewd


i've eaten at restaurants alone before. and as with some people, i can't sit still... i constantly have to be bombarbed with information/entertainme nt. i don't take shits without having something to read... same with eating, if there's no one to talk to.. then i'll read something.

actually, taking a shit is the only real time i have read these days.

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A Life of the Party (Female, Denver, 26-28, Student) answered:

Screenname: monique1515


Im the type of person who can read in a noisy place.

I study better when there is background noise. I dont know why, but complete silence is distracting to me.

If I was studying at a restraunt, i would non want a random person to just come and sit down with me.

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A Creative (Female, New York, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: deliaj


I love to read anywhere, I also write in public much easier than I do in private. I love to people watch and usually I don't want to talk to anyone, so it does seem odd but it isn't.

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A Creative (Female, 22-25, Student) answered:

Screenname: bnicoleb


Maybe this person just wants a good meal, and doens't give a shit about what others think. They choose to read, whether they are retaining the info or not, so they don't have to sit there like a retard and stare at everyone else.......

maybe.....

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A Life of the Party (Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: lacey07


People in restaurants are there for a meal. They are reading because they are readers and take every minute they can to read. When you are reading it takes your mind off the noisy restaurant and you are engrossed in the book. Try it, you'll see.

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An Alternative Girl (Female, St.Louis, 29-35, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: avalon24


Honestly I can and have read in very noisy places. I can read just about anywhere.
Some people are comfortable going places and doing things alone, but instead of just sitting there staring at everyone else read a book or something.

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A Thinker (Female, San Diego, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: silver75


I do lunch by myself pretty often. I might be in a hurry or out aand about for work and just have to go in to a restaurant and grab a quick snack. I can't remember the last time I was in a restaurant by myself. Well, actually I was waiting for a friend for 20 minutes by a table last week. She called and said she got stuck in traffic and would be late. It DID feel a bit awkward sitting there alone.

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A Guy Critical (Male, Sacramento, 29-35, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: MikeOxbigg


You bring something to read so you don't look like a psycho. It's just common courtesy -- you don't want to freak people out. However, I prefer a crossword puzzle, as opposed to a book or something like that to just read.

I like eating alone in restaurants. But one has to make concessions to the vast majority who think it's pathetic or strange or somehow threatening.

I can only think of two occasions where a potential "someone special" has sat down with me. And both times, the person was someone who I sort of knew already.

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An Alternative Girl (Female, 18-21, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: werallmadhere


Maybe some people are but personally I like to go eat out places and read by myself. I get to enjoy nice food in a nice atmosphere and read my book. It helps that I can tune everthing out as far as sound goes too.

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A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: mountainchic


Some people feel that being on their own doesn't preclude them from eating out. They bring a book for something to do rather than waiting for their meal while staring at a wall.

If there were any doubt as to a single person wishing someone would come along and 'rescue' them from eating alone, the book should quash that. Reading a book in public is a very strong sign that someone is NOT looking for outside attention.

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Seattle, 46-55, Science / Engineering) answered:

Screenname: electroman


I used to travel a lot and alone. So eating and reading in a resturant wasn't to hard. You do have to concentrate. Although I did wish someone would join me, I hated it

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A Thinker (Female, 26-28, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: visitor6785


LOL.. I want to introduce myself to you, anon. =)

I very often eat by myself. I am a pretty quiet person. I would be polite if you approach but not sure if I can be friendly.

It probably takes me 10 minutes to concentrate and read if that's something that interests me. No matter how noisy it is.


Regarding why I would be at a restuarant by myself?! Hm. Cause I want to dine at a fine restaurant but is enjoying my ME time?! =P

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: sunset77


No! I often sit alone and do not want to be bothered by anyone. I also have been known to sit alone in bars and read. Yes its true. I simply want a change of scene, get out the house, have some quality time with myself, treat myself to a drink or a meal etc.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: ladywisteria


Maybe they want to be alone eat want they want while they read a good book, there is nothing wrong with that.

Lady W*

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A Thinker (Female, 18-21, Student) answered:

Screenname: imhere


Maybe when the person is reading he or she shuts out the noise...and just wants to read alone...or in an environment that is less distracting than home...like I would rather read at a noisy restaraunt than a noisy home where a baby is crying...because it is harder to shut out crying...

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A Thinker (Female, New York, 29-35, Teaching) answered:

Screenname: electragold21


LOL! If someone sat down next to me if I was reading in a restaurant (while enjoying my meal), I would tell him to get the f*ck away from me!

Geez, how immature do you have to be to think that everyone WANTS company 24/7?

I sometimes dine or lunch alone because it's quiet time for me, and when I'm not people watching I'll bring a book that I have to get finished with. It's easy for me to read with background noise--and I actually seem to assimilate information better with the background noise. I love a rainy day in a nice restaurant--it's a great place and moment to just be alone and chill out.

But if I'm not signaling to someone that I want to make his acquaintance, he really shouldn't interrupt my meal / book. This has happened before (they didn't have the nerve to SIT DOWN--that would so freak me out)--but the people in question ASKED me if they could sit there, and I said "No." Some of them were even attractive--it was just the wrong time and place and their attention got on my nerves. :)

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A Thinker (Female, 26-28) answered:


I do it all the time, but then again I am a student and always studying. I like being in cafes or resaurants because I can't study at home and the library closes early. When I am around people I feed off of their energy and enjoy the ambiance as I study. Am I a loner? Maybe. Do I want someone to talk to? Some times. Then again, I always like talking to people. I don't go to these places in hopes of having someone sit by me.

I have had times where I focus on my food and not study. It seems a bit uncomfortable, because I find myself in other's conversation. However, when I need to study I can even study in a very very loud setting. If a special someone sits by me some day I will drop you a line anon.

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A Creative (Female, 36-45, Student) answered:

Screenname: fastball


I like reading when I'm in a restaurant alone because I can catch up on things that I've been meaning to read and sometimes, I will even work on my checkbook or bills so that I don't have to worry about doing everything last minute...plus, it helps keep me organized to go out alone and do what I need to get done because when I go to a restaurant with others, I tend to just want to sit and visit...:)

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A Guy Critical (Male, 56-65, Technical) answered:

Screenname: drumboi2


While in college, I found that I could really concentrate on studies with the din of a busy restaurant in the background. I wasn't there hoping for anything...except a good test score later.

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A Player (Female, Dallas, 26-28, Who Cares?) answered:


It doesn't bother me to go to a restaurant and eat alone. The way I look at it, no one really cares if I have a companion or not. When I was younger, sometimes I did want a guy to join me but that sort of thing has left me. In fact, sometimes I rather dine alone so I can enjoy my meal without having to make small talk. I don't think I have ever read anything in a restaurant. Perhaps if I had just bought a magazine and there was an interesting article I wanted to read I might bring it into the restaurant with me, provided it was a casual restaurant.

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A Thinker (Female, Cleveland, 29-35, Student) answered:

Screenname: seductivepisces9


I can read in a noisy atmosphere if my concentration is strong.

My concentration is strong some days and not so strong other days. A.D.D. at it's finest. :-)

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55, Other Profession) answered:


.....why they're there?............becau se they are hungry?.

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A Thinker (Female, 22-25, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: nico88


Your title should be 'brave are the lonely'. Maybe they got stood up. If you sit alone in a restaurant people will offer you a magazine anyway. It's ot fair on the other diners cos it's drawing attention

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A Thinker (Female, Baltimore, 46-55, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: jpm51


Lunch time or Dinner time is just that! Time to eat, read, write alone sometimes. You can always 'tune out' the noise and others when your concentration is 'focused' on what you are doing.

It does not mean that someone is 'lonely' and looking for someone.

I know that if I do it at a restaurant that is 'not the case' with me!

Sometimes you just want to get out of the office, away from home and you go somewhere to get a bite to eat and then do whatever else you want to do.

No harm in that and it SHOULD NOT be perceived as anything else in MOST cases for people.

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