Back to Home

Active Questions

How can i get my boyfriend to stop losing his temper?
Dating / 3:52 PM - Thursday March 19, 2009

how can i get my boyfriend to stop losing his temper?

my boyfriend came home at 3:00pm,, he has been at work since 8am.. i am sort of like a house wife i stay home and clean and do laundry,, his sister lives with us too,,so i am cleaning up after her too,, anyways, he comes home and starts yelling about the smell coming from the kitchen and it was the chicken container his sister left out,, then he puts on his favorite t-shirt that he spilt coffee on and i spent so much time washing it on hand and he starts yelling at me about stretching the sleeve out... when he does this i get like emotional; because i try so hard to please him i do everything for him

- Asked by arabrose12356, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25, Cleveland

Read more about the Rating System

Oh Darlin'. You have a big chance here to learn a very important lesson in life. Angry people stay angry!!! You can't change him. If he's yelling at you for these kind of little things, take that as a warning of bigger anger issues to come in the future. GET OUT NOW!! He won't change. Believe me. You'll just get more emotionally drained by it. Get out now while you have 'you' left.

- Response by stringjammer, A Career Man, Male, 56-65, Chicago, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

What a jerk.

He may need an hour or so of "alone time" when he comes home to cool off from work.

Either that or a stiff drink.

Tell him to stop yelling at you - that's not okay - especially about minor little things like that.

- Response by snafu, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Toronto, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:

Sounds like he needs to be with his mommy again instead of dealing with a loving house wife!!!

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

Rating Received:

Sorry, you can't get him to stop anythng he doesn't want to. What you CAN do, is do something for yourself. Get a job, go to school, learn how to support yourself so you don't have to put up with other people who treat you like crap.

- Response by catscratch, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Executive

Rating Received:

You *cannot* get someone else to stop losing their temper. Only THAT PERSON can control their temper, you cannot. And when someone is as unreasonable and bad-tempered as your boyfriend sounds, you're going to get yelled at no matter WHAT you do, because he's taking out his generalized anger and frustrations on you.

If you "do everything for him" and he's treating you like this, he's an abusive prick. Next time he yells at you, tell him to eat shit and then turn around and leave. EVERY TIME he starts to yell at you - just LEAVE. Let him know you will NOT tolerate being disrespected like that. If he doesn't get the hint, then dump his sorry, bullying ass and find someone who'll be respectful and nice to you.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:

Its time to stand up for yourself young lady and realize that is not the way any woman deserves to be treated. You might want to consider looking to live elsewhere if he has that kind of attitude now it will only get worse if you don't explain to him that it is not acceptable.

- Response by melodyalise, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Salt Lake City, Managerial

Rating Received:

Your boyfriend has anger management issues. I would not remain in the relationship unless he was willing to complete an anger management program.

Never allow ANY person to yell at you. When your boyfriend is calm, explain to him you will no longer tolerate yelling. Tell him when he starts yelling, you will remove yourself from the abusive situation. Then DO IT.

If you come from an abusive childhood where this was allowed, please seek counseling for the tools to remove yourself from abusive situations.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

Rating Received:

I would recommend STFU. Then leave.


- Response by bluegenel, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

Rating Received: