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My ex husband ( just final divorce this week) is with a beautiful young yoga teacher.
Dating / 11:24 AM - Sunday July 12, 2009

My ex husband ( just final divorce this week) is with a beautiful young yoga teacher.

He is a rich guy who likes to go to these international "love ins". That is how we met, I thought he was an advanced person, and that is how he met her. After marriage when we had a baby, I stopped wanting to camp and travel to "consciousness raising" gatherings. I wanted to stay home to care for our baby and be with other moms to get into the whole parenting thing. He became angry, critical, and told our friends he wasn't interested in our baby or interested in me as a fatter nursing mom. Then he went and met this new woman. He is such a hypocrite I want to stab him in the face. When I see him and this new yoga teacher in their "consciousness raising" photos, I want to bomb them. F*cking phony a*holes. So now I am single and have a toddler. I can't run off to meet someone, but I honestly love parenting. He only wants to have our toddler a few times a week to show him off like a puppy at his "gatherings" that he nows hosts in his new "consciousness raising" studio. Since he a rich trust funder, he pays for everything like a giant hippy party. I know he is a phony a**, but I see him and his groupies everywhere in our small town. I can't shake my anger. I was totally duped by all his initial bs. How can I live without wanting to kill him and all his fake a** hippy groupies?

Update: July 15, 2009.
Thanks for all the laughs. Sorry for all the angry guys that think I was martha stewart hiding amongst the hippies till I got knocked up and then Baama Laam boring mom type emerges and scheistered the tie dye man! Haa HHaa I said, join me or else!! I put organic ruffies in your Kambuchas! Come my pretty" We will populate the earth with step by step arts and craft projects HHHHAAAA! you will learn to like it ARRharrHHarrr!!!

Update: July 15, 2009.
You are so right. I used a new age ruffy. Ya got me. I put it in his Kambucha

Update: July 12, 2009.
Thanks for the support! I want to focus on the good, my beautiful son. It's hard because I cannot move from this small town. But thanks for your prayers and the belly laughs! I will make it through!

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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Not to be mean or anything, but I would stab him in the face like you said first. Always go with your first thought!

Honestly, I would stop worrying too much about it stupid ass and concentrate on your happiness and the happiness of your child. Don't let him control or ruin your life.

- Response by dragonswagg, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 26-28

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it sounds like you had a different game plan to have a baby and you are now reaping the consequences of your behavior. it sounds like he didnt want a baby.

i wasnt there so i dont know the whole story- but now it sounds like you want to grab as much cash as you can- and good luck..

i am against killing someone..

it is not right and you will pay heavily.


your fury will be unleashed through the lawyers i feel-but of course i dont know what u will do..your reality is that you now the money and to raise your child-

im glad its not me







- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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Post divorce anger is a bitch...

1st do not transfer these feelings to your child. That is imperative.

2nd make sure that your child gets his/her share of that Trust money.

3rd avoid the SOB as much as possible when it doesn't include the child.

Let it go, time will help... Live your life, well. And love that child. You will move on and love again, he has no idea what that word means...

- Response by siouxzen, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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Its amusing when women like you want to blame the man for everything when in fact you are likely the one that duped him. You had him convinced that you actually had the same interests as him, that is until you had a child. Then you reverted back to the real you and you wanted him to change for you. When he didn't, you decided he was the ass for being the person you fell in love with back at the "love ins". And when he continued to want to go, you gave him up. Maybe next time you will find someone that actually has the same interests as you and not try to convince them you are someone you are not.

- Response by chal08, A Rebel, Male, 29-35

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Chal08 has a very good point: Him and the entire consciousness raising/love-in (multiple sex partner?) crowd haven't changed - You did. Your story sounds a lot like the spiritual hippy version of the standard story of women going after rich players and then after getting in a relationship (by getting pregnant?) letting herself go and expecting him to give up his old lifestyle.

Spiritual types generally are phonies but then you are a spiritual type yourself and it is likely you were pretending to be someone else to meet and get someone like him and then you planned on reverting to who you really wanted to be after you had him hooked in. He probably feels betrayed also.

Where your life goes from here is up to you. You could choose to let yourself go, blame your life on your ex husband and live with rage that he never changed after the kid arrived. Or you could choose to focus on what you want your life to be and what decisions you need to be making to make your life that way. With the type of divorce settlement and child support you would get from divorcing a rich guy you should have plenty of resources to work with.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Technical

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It sounds like you duped him into having a kid cause you thought it would change him. You and him did the spiritual thing together, and then you changed after having a kid, not him. You knew going into the marriage that this was who he was, and now you want to stab him for not changing into the person you wanted him to be. And now you're probably going to get millions of dollars in alimony and child support even though you were only married to him for a few years.

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 26-28, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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How hot is the yoga teacher? Got pictures?

- Response by sphincterboy, A Trendsetter, Male, 66 or older, Dhaka, Celebrity

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Forgive yourself for getting into this situation, forgive him for wrecking your life and move on. Now is the time to use all that energy to ensure that your child will have a an experience to grow health, and happy

- Response by realman2000, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Norfolk, Medical / Dental

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While I understand your anger, I don't see him as "phony". He did all these "consciousness raising" things WITH you, till You changed. When you have a baby, you Do change. You no longer want to put up with his hippy ways. The problem is, HE didn't change, like you hoped.
And, he moved on to the next shallow gal. It won't be his last, I am sure.
What You have done, is actually matured. Love your child, and let Him go. He is NEVER going to be in the same place as you. He may never grow up. Let him be shallow and without meaning. You don't need him.

- Response by nursefromky, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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While it is terrible that he treated you poorly, know that he probably will do the same thing to the next woman. You have a child now and you have to provide a healthy happy home for him/her. I am a child of divorce who had to bear the brunt of my mother's bitterness for many years and it hurt me too and in many ways I didn't have a real childhood. Embrace you and your baby being happy and try to move on from the hurt this man has caused you. Having a child will not preclude you from meeting someone...yes it's a bit of challenge with all of your parental obligations but don't think you are doomed to a life of singlehood. Actually having a child will help to weed out the men who can't handle responsibility...rememb er in every cloud there is a silver lining. Take care...

- Response by cocoacurevelous, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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I hope you're getting a good sized alimony from him so that you can take care of yourself and your son. You need to let go of that anger as it isn't healthy for you or your baby. In a small town, I would guess that you can't avoid running into him. Is it possible to move to the next time so you don't have to see his face or you allowed? You need to focus on yourself and the baby and not let him get to you. Destressing or trying to relax, do things for yourself and baby. Find a mom's group that you can join.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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I hear how you are feeling. It's normal to be upset. The best advice I am getting is to let him (in my case, her) go. Stop focusing on them and feel sorry for them instead. Feel for your little one and make him the focus of your life. Worry about him and pour your heart into him. He did not choose this life. We all make mistakes in life and sometimes we pay long and hard for them. If we can keep our anger from consuming us and focus our energy in the right direction we will emerge a better, more considerate person and begin to better understand ourselves. Hand in hand.. I understand... I'm sorry. It is so very difficult. And you are fresh out of this. Do what you can to separate yourself from the pain and the actuality of having to deal with him for a long time. Divorce is extremely painful and hurtful to our inner core. And sometimes we feel like kicking ourselves or our ex s/o... but that is counterproductive and does not allow us to grow through such experiences... Read Stephen Covey's books and take time for yourself... do your best to let him go and do it lovingly. Remember how you first felt for him and keep that close so that you do not warp your reality into a twist of hate against his lies... feel bad that someone like him has to lie and be fake in order to find acceptance, that he has to use money and influence to buy his way into peoples lives... feel bad for your little one and do what you can to provide a safe haven for him that is full of love and not anger. His future is at stake and you will be the most influential person in his life that will set up his future relationships and success... Help him develope into a more decent human being and make sure he has a positive role model somewhere male that helps him understand what it means to be a real man and not a fake one. Good luck... again... I'm sorry.... so many families are breaking apart... it is terribly sad. :-(

- Response by timeforanoverhaul, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Denver, Self-Employed

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wow, that's so messed up. the first time i ever lost complete respect for someone was someone who pulled this crap (although not to the extreme you've been through).

you have my sympathy and never forget you're the better person. i hope things get better for you.

- Response by isotope, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Student

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1. Get some professional counseling.
2. Move out of this small town.
3. Do all of the above.

PS - I hope you got what was due you in the divorce, monetarily that is.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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why don't you sue him for a very nice big divorce settlement then open your own successful business (while also finding the time to be a great mom - I'm sure you'll manage! You sound like a real woman to me).

And when you're ready and looking and feeling your best get yourself a toy boy or whovere takes your fancy (and who loves you and treats you RIGHT! and adores your baby) and parade HIM around your town.

I bet you being happy and successul will be THE BEST REVENGE EVER!

Good luck!


- Response by rubyrednotdead, A Creative, Female, 29-35, London, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I felt the same way when my ex left me with two small children and no support whatsoever...so instead of wallowing in self-pity, I chose instead to work hard to make a good life for my children and not depend on him for anything because I knew that he wouldn't make an effort anyway...the thing that got me to provide for me and my children was knowing that he thought that if I was struggling, he would still have control over me and I didn't want that...forget about your ex and focus on your child because your child needs you a lot more and deserves to be well taken care of...if your ex wants to parade around and 'pretend' to be this great person, let him but don't let his actions make you feel less than a great woman because things happen and the best way to get through is to believe that you can do it...good luck and sorry this happened to you, but I understand how hard it can be...:D

- Response by fastball, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Student

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I know you feel pissed. But realistically, You ARE divorced. You are only hurting yourself by harboring these feelings.

Go out and find someone to laugh with a bit... Help you get over him faster than anything...

- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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