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Why does the wife automatically get half in a divorce (unless there is a prenup)?
Married Life / 2:29 PM - Thursday September 17, 2009

Why does the wife automatically get half in a divorce (unless there is a prenup)?

I think that's totally unfair. They should leave with what they started with, no more no less.

Update: September 17, 2009.
Okay everyone is making stupid mindless assumptions here. Yes I am married! I just think it's unfair that it be divided equally when they did not enter the marriage equally. They want to part ways, they should do it (including in terms of finances).

- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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Smart girl, refreshing to hear from a female that is thinking right. Thanks for this post;)

- Response by shanegalang, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Transportation

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Why does the HUSBAND automatically get half in a divorce?

I think that's totally unfair. He should leave with what he started with -- no more no less.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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Community Rating: Community Star

I agree, although I think that each person's individual money and assets should also be kept by them (eg keep their own bank account contents, car, any furniture or items that are theirs).

If the house for example belongs to ONE and the other one moved in, then the house should go back to its rightful owner.

For items which were bought equally together, they should be split in half. I don't believe that there should be any kind of spousal support (child support yes, but not spouse support).

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I agree. Both people should keep their own assets in a divorce regardless of who has more money.

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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You must be dating a divorced guy or cheated with one. They are partners and both deserve half..He wouldn't be able to have worked full time if he had to take care of the house and children ...He knew the laws when he married her...Too bad so sad. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Regarding your update:

YOU are making alot of stupid mindless assumptions that every woman goes into a marriage with less than the man.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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I'd say that was fair...
What did SHE bring into the marriage?

...that HE'D GET for "parting-gifts"
or a "consolation prize"...



- Response by geester, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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you are the first female i've heard that thinks that way.

it comes down to how marriages used to be, decades ago. where the man worked and the woman stayed at home to raise the children. so back then, when a woman divorced, she ended up with nothing, exactly what she started with. no income, no goods, nothing.

i agree, that they each need to walk away with what they came into the marriage with. but typically there is stuff above and beyond that, that most women want not only their fair share, but the lion's share of.

financial experts say that women's financial lifestyle after divorce usually goes down by a significant amount, while the man's financial lifestyle typically increases. having gone through it, i have to say they are correct. i had nothing all during the marriage. i was always giving to the family. i didn't have 2 nickles to rub together for myself. afterwards, i was able to go out to eat (hadn't been able to afford to do that for the previous 8 years) and finally was able to live by the budget we'd set up, but now that i was in control of the money, i was able to actually spend it on the correct items from the budget. the budgeted entertainment money went for entertainment, not stupid crap for her. the budgeted travel money went for travel, not travel only for her. and the food money actually went for food, not crap that she claimed to spend it on.

its amazing how liberating a budget can be when you abide by it, instead of feel controlled by it when she didn't live according to it.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Cuz he gets the other half..

Usually Im the one with more money - so I say prenup it is.

Actually if you are in love it shouldnt matter unless your a billionare. You cant take it with you anyway.

- Response by dibaby76, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Political / Government

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You're obviously not a wife. I'm sure you'll feel different the day you will be and your husband hurts you.

- Response by marycherry, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Fitness

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I agree that it is unfair because marriage should be about love and companionship and not about what one(or both) can get out of the marriage...I have to admit though that if a woman puts off pursuing her career to care for her husband and to help him establish a career, she does deserve 'something' in return for the 'work' she has done in helping him obtain his career...however, many times a man is already established in his career and marries because he is wanting love and companionship and when he does marry and it ends in divorce, I think that both parties should get what they both put in and not have one party pay more or get less than the other because marriage is a partnership and should be dealt with in that way...I can understand when children are involved and the woman gets the children, then alimony/child support should be paid but when it is just the couple with no children, they should both get half of what they put into the marriage and not more than the other one...JMO...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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They may not depending on which state you're in and length of marriage. Laws vary.

- Response by boggob, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Political / Government

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Short and sweet: The man leaving the marriage takes his salary with him, he can still go to the store and buy bread and milk and a bar of soap a new car or house without thinking twice.

The woman on the other hand has been home for 15 to 20 years taking care of the kids or working part time. When they divorce she has to go to work making a minimum salary which does not buy the milk and bread!

Can you honestly see yourself surviving on $10.00 an hour and being able to feed the children, pay the mortgage, electric, phone bill, etc.

- Response by curiouscat67, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55

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so what if the total grew while they were married ?

- Response by dooter, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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i agree

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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so you assume she earned nothing during the marriage that nothing that was bought during the marriage was earned by her?? your thinking is old fashioned.
you assume that everything aquired was earned and bought by him. Not true. Even if she's a stay at home mom, that's her contribution to the marriage. That how she is earning things. If she didn't stay home with the kids, he'd have to pay someone or stay home himself, thus decreasing his earning potential.
If i get married to the man i'm with now and we divorce, i'd be entitled to at least half if not more because I MAKE MORE THAN HIM. Again your thinking is old fashioned.

- Response by beanielou, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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She gets half for the same reason she gets the first seat in a life raft, is the first to be immunized, receives preferencial treatment over men in a court of law ... ad-infinitum, ad-nauseam. In many ways, its a women's world, and crocidile tears and whining go a long way. The keeper of the gateway has a lot of pull. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to replenish my Black Dog Ale.

- Response by mirage338, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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She does? Didn't happen that way for me.... :-(

- Response by Nora1968, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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it is not automatically in either direction (his or hers) it is yet sometimes the path of least restance.

- Response by maniacalme, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Executive

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Not only will I be leaving my marriage with half of everything, I will be leaving with my integrity. The cheater will get half but alas, he has lost his integrity. And any woman hoping that she will have my married lifestyle had better be a hard worker because that is why we had the lifestyle we had. I worked hard while he golfed, and other extra curricular activities, and I was very frugal so he always appeared to have a lot of money. Do I feel like an idiot? Yes but if his girlfriend thinks she will be a cared for like a princess, she has no clue as to what my soon to be ex is really like. Oh and she had better not have children with him because not only will she work full time, but she will be doing all the child running. Even when he had a day off, I still had to take the kids to daycare. When I was home, the kids were home. Although I am sure he has led her to believe that he is rich and I am a lazy, uncaring woman that he has been stuck with...and oh, that he wasn't getting any! How stupid are these woman? Funny what these mistresses will believe.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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I agree with you 200% on this one...I totally feel bad for's not right...woman are greedy &*()))()*.!!!!!!!!!

- Response by wildisland1, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55

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Well, there are several scenarios:

1) They both work. They both do 50% of the household chores, pay for 50% of all expenses, etc.
2) They both work. She does 80% of the household chores, all the child care, etc.
3) He works full time, she stays home and takes care of the family, runs errands for him, etc.
4) She works a drudge job to put him through law school, then he starts making 6 figures and cheats with his cute secretary.
5) He works full time and does a lot of the housework while she works part time and plays video games all day.
6) He works full time, she goes to school part time and they both split the chores. She spends a lot more money than he does on her various hobbies.

OK, those are just some of the various scenarios. In some cases, even though the wife doesn't earn any money, in a real sense, she adds more to the family - a friend of mine who is married to a home-maker said he would have to pay a lot more than he makes to afford all that his wife brings to the family. He added up how much he would have to pay for child care, for meals (she cooks everything from scratch, saving them a ton of money), for cleaning, home repair (she re-grouted the bathroom, wall-papered the living room, re-painted the bathrooms, etc.)...

There are also situations where the man works his butt off and the woman is lazy.

The reason the courts divide everything is because it would be incredibly difficult to figure out all the details.

In my opinion, both husband and wife should keep what they brought to the marriage and split what was made during the marriage, unless there was a pre-nup. For people who go into a marriage with a lot of assets, a pre-nup makes sense, however.

One thing I have a huge problem with is alimony, however. If she was a homemaker for 30 years, then providing her with alimony, particularly if he was the one who was at fault, makes sense to me. Otherwise, it's hard to justify it... you read about high profile marriages where the wife was married for only 5 years, is still young and able to get a job, and she's asking for a huge amount of alimony - doesn't seem fair. And sometimes it's the husband asking for it...

- Response by curvysmartgirl, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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i think its because when u get married u agree to share everything so then when u divorce thats why things are split in half, i think it might be that and back in the old day that might have been a way from keeping guys from wanting to divorce but at the same time giving women an option if they werent happy

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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wow! you jerked me. i was talking about the women who jumped on YOUR ass, not YOU.

god, i guess you DO now fall into the crazy chic catagory ;)

- Response by isotope, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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when she cheats, lies, and racks up debt unknowingly (especially when debt is to finance her affair)

This is a definite in my mind to not get half.

If she did actually provide support allowing the husband to work and earn what is left at divorce then she should get something.

When she does nothing to provide support and proven by 2 or more years prior to divorce of both working full time and the husband taking full primary care of the finances, household, children, etc. What had she ever provided? In this case she should leave with what she has. If he leaves her then maybe she should receive some support, but if she leaves its all on her to provide for herself (or her bf to provide).

- Response by phantommm, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Portland

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They don't.
If the man owned the home or has equity in the home prior to the marriage the women does not get this.
Only the equity or upgrades to the home would get split.
This I feel is fair, otherwise the women would just marry and dump the man for a paycheck.
If there are kids then child support would be rewarded to a parent.
If the marriage is young and only a few years old, she wont get alamony.

- Response by scottdadman, A Player, Male, 56-65, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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it is the law of the state where there are laws.
then get married and then divorce him

- Response by flwoodpecker, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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it is the law of the state where there are laws.
then get married and then divorce him

- Response by flwoodpecker, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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Because half the shit's her's!!!!!

- Response by clueless37, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Celebrity

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It is only fair. I brought a car, tv, and some furniture into our marriage. He had nothing. We both worked. We had children and I quit pursuing my career (I still worked, it wasn't my focus though) to raise them. When the children were school age, I became my husbands partner in a business and the business would not have been as successful as it is if not for me. My husband had an affair but I am still here because I think that I deserve more than half because while I was working, he was out screwing around. You get married and you build a life together. One may make more money, one may make more sacrifices, but they both put something into it and each deserves half. After 25 years, I would gladly sell everything, split the profit, and let with a car, tv, and furniture; then he could leave with his .... oh wait, he didn't even own a car when we met!!! And that will be the day that his "girlfriend" would get to benefit from my hard work.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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Because its always ugly in the end.

- Response by spiceyjoy, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Executive

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Jesus, half the women on here just set back the female movement fifty years.

If the wife was a stay at home mom, and is getting custody of the kids...she should be awarded half.

If there are no children, or she was the one that cheated, or if he came into the marriage with significantly more than she did...she should not get half.

All these feminists are for equal rights except when it comes to divorce.

- Response by vabyss, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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What if the woman had more when they got married?? It is not always the man that has more. And what if she has had the children and has stayed home with them thus giving up part of her earning potential? If he had to hire a nanny it would cost him a nice chunk of change. I think it is fair that each leaves with half. I hate to say this but it is probably him that has cheated anyway leading to the divorce. If he wants to make sure she does not get half then get an ironclad prenup. If there is such a thing.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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Obviously you have never been a wife! Geesh and to think I got everything except his clothes, truck and personal possessions. It's the least I could do for his cheating a$$!

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Dating a married man huh?

Wanting all that loot for YOU?

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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