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When you give it up on the first night....
Sex & Intimacy / 9:49 PM - Wednesday October 28, 2009

when you give it up on the first night....

what are you honestly thinking? honestly, when you have sex with him early do you think it will get you a husband? it wont. it might get you a bootycall. it might get him to txt his friends and bragged about how he tapped that on the first night but it doesnt get you respect. you can never have those hours/minutes back. you can never forget that feeling the next morning where you know that you didnt matter to him. so whats the point? dont tell me its because you enjoy it. thats a cop out. we all enjoy sex. i love sex. but i love my self respect more.yes giving it up too early is disrespecting yourself. point blank. so what is the point? do you convince yourself you dont care? ITS AS MUCH FOR YOU AS FOR HIM? i really want to know....

Update: October 29, 2009.
by the way, this was an honest question. im not immature but i have my opinion and you have yours. i wanted real opinions, not women who feel bad about their actions. getting defensive means that you know you should hold yourself to a higher standard. be a fucking woman. sometimes it works out when u give it up early. but try making him wait. if he waits for u then hes worth it. most definitely.

Update: October 29, 2009.
look, you all seem to have misunderstood. my question was LESS about what the man thought and more about how a woman feels after she has sex with man early. personally if i have sex with a guy i know doesnt give a damn i feel dirty. like i was just a means to an end. which is why i wont do it. i was asking more about self respect. i KNOW that sometimes men will stay with u and some successful relationships come out of quick sex. but i was asking about how a woman truly feels when she gives it up early. so get ur panties out of a bunch. and ladies if it makes u feel better to go off on me because u cant keep ur legs closed then thats fine. if you dont respect yourself youll never be truly happy.

- Asked by khali4575, A Player, Female, 18-21, Who Cares?

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I agree and I never really understand why people (men & women) would put themselve through that. I have a friend who is what many people consider hoe and she insists it's b/c she just wants sex and not a relationship. We had this discussion a couple of times and what it boiled down to was that she [claimed to] believe that there is nothing wrong with casual sex and she doesn't think it's disrespectful to please yourself. So I guess that's the reason...

- Response by poeticlove08, A Thinker, Female, 18-21, Student

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Honestly, I TOTALLY freakin agree with you!...I am 28, a professional, attractive, and i was raised to respect myself...i LOVE sex too, A LOT...but, I always make a guy wait...and low and behold, pretty much every guy I have slept with, I have had a relationship with... Its funny that you posted this, because I have been thinking about this same question because I have had A LOT of female friends come to me whining and complaining that this guy they met, hung out with and liked hasn't called them back since...and without fail, when I ask them, "Well, did you have sex with him?" THEY ALWAYS SAY YES!!...& I'm like THATS WHY HE WONT CALL YOU BACK!!! As much as I love sex, I always make guys wait...not to play hard to get, but because I need to know someone at least a little before I let them put their fucking penis in me!!...and the guy that ive been with for a year now (I made him wait a month)...admits that if I slept with him on the 1st or 2nd date he would not have wanted a relationship with me...and the truth is, thats the way a lot of guys think, even THEY also do it...maybe its cuz I was raised tha way I was, to respect myself, or maybe its also because I grew up with guys and know how they think and work...& the way they work ladies is: if you sleep with them early, there is a GOOD chance they will lose respect for you!!! & if you're cool with that, thats all fine and dandy and totally your choice...do what you want (as long as you're hopefully safe, healthy and smart about it)...BUT, please stop whining and crying and complaining that you "really liked him and wanted to get to know him better" & "why hasnt he called me?!" seriously? get the hint and figure it out...IF you want a dude to stick around for the long haul, keep your legs closed for just a bit woman...seriously....

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I ended up marrying my one night stand who was a coworker!.

there's always an exception.

- Response by discotrash, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Las Vegas, Other Profession

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i couldnt agree wth u more! nicely put!

- Response by arsola, A Thinker, Female, 18-21, Student

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I would answer this .. but I think steve67 said it best. 4 stars for him lol =)

- Response by italianmami1107, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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to be honest, i had sex with the guy i am dating (one year anni in a couple days) on the second night. i knew i wanted to, because well, we had been talking for a couple months online and i always brushed off meeting him because i was a) nervous and b) i don't like meeting people online alone.

so i told my friend to come visit me for the night, and we both hung out with him and his friend. i didn't talk to him much that night because he spent a lot of the time talking to my friend about their common music interests and i talked to his friend about our common music interests.

i called him the next night to see if he wanted to hang out, and he said he was going to call me because he didnt get much of a chance to talk to me.

we went out to the bar with his other friend, i told him i didnt have money, and he said that was okay. he bought my beers. well, i got quite drunk, and we were all having a good time. then it dawned on me that i didnt have any way home, sinse he couldnt drive and the busses had stopped running. in the back of my mind, i knew this would happen. he said he had a couch i could sleep on, so i said alright. when we got to his house, the couch was in the family room and there was no way i was about to sleep there..

so we got into his bed, and i snuggled into him, because he was very comforting. he hadnt made a very big move on me all night, except a bit of flirting. i don't rememeber the night perfectly, and i asked him who made the first move.. he admitted it was him.. and we ended up having sex..

and i don't regret it.

that's my happy little story about how my boyfriend and i hooked up the first night. it's not always a bad decision. we ended up doing it numerous times a day for about a month.. and then he asked me out. lol

he even dropped talking to all other girls for me Lol.

it was quite a happy story.

i know that doesn't really answer your question, but i thought i should interject that it doesn't always turn out the way you stated :)

- Response by xokimmierose, A Life of the Party, Female, 18-21, Toronto

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If you have self-respect you don't need to care what he thinks. So he's a shallow creep who bragged to his friends about you? Then he's a loser who's not worth dating again. Shrug it off as a good lay and nothing more. There's lots of guys out there that DON'T kiss and tell.

- Response by steff81, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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I had 1st date sex with both of my husbands.. It can be an intelligent and informed decision mutually made by two adults. And sex after 4 months of dating... Or whatever you decide is the "right" amount of time, if it is used as a bargaining chip, is wrong..

- Response by siouxzen, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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Grown Ass Mature Adults - steve67, say that shyt!! I had sex on the 1st date with my s/o and after 6 years, we're still together. I still had my self respect before, during, and afterwards.

- Response by kutie56, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Newark, Other Profession

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