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I m afraid of my brother s anger
Family & Parenting / 12:25 AM - Thursday November 05, 2009

I m afraid of my brother s anger

The only link I still have with my "family" is a property that hasnt been sold.

In short, they are very toxic people, it was a long councelling road, and I m eager to end this link after so many years.

I just confirmed we are probably about to sell the property. This means, no more siblings nor mother, ever again. I haven t seen them in ten years and more.

Signing papers means I will HAVE TO see one of my brothers, who is full of anger, resentment and maybe even hate towards me. I m terrified!

It is a last moment to reach a great emotional release ( which makes me very excited!). At last!!!

But, I m afraid of my brother s anger, who s still looking to get some extra money through other people who, he sais, got the buyer or helped here and there... he has also stolen us. So, if I complain or refuse to pay the extra he "expects" ( which I won t pay), I m sure things may get to the limit.

I know I m an adult, and he won t hit me or something...my fear is more on the waterfall of insults and resentment comments I will receive.

I just dont want to be part of their "toxic-circle", and he has all this big need to throw his bad feelings towards me. I dont want to receive all his shit.

My question is, how do I deal with my brother if he is this way towards me, during negotiation, in the part we have the lawyers and the part we are almost alone?

We don t talk on the phone nor e mail each other for the negotiation,( it s all through a relative), because he doesnt allow me to adress him directly.

Just so you know, I didnt do anything in particular to be "hated", but I did go councelling which made me look for a healthy life away from them, leaving my always resented mother and siblings behind. I also might have said some things that hurt her.

thanks


- Asked by sailormoon, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Good for you for breaking away and getting counseling.At least you will not end up like them...toxic.I would talk thru your relative and if you have to see him face to face do'nt let him get to you.If he starts to insult you just say that is why you never bother with them.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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I feel badly for your situation, but understand fully how family relations both erode and corrode.

Perhaps you can do the paper-signing by mail, this is a very common practice, so you won't have to confront him/them.
If this fails you already know you want to keep this as short as possible. In any case, TAKE A GIRLFRIEND or female associate with you to the meeting (a non-threatening witness)....there is SAFETY IN NUMBERS.
Good luck and many blessings. This will pass.

Someone once said that family is 'a circus without a tent'!

- Response by mert40, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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do everything thru the lawyer and let me congratulate you for the wise way you chose to live without a "toxic" family.

my best wishes to you sailor!
argie

- Response by argie, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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