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OMG am i losing my mind or what?
Dating / 9:54 AM - Thursday November 19, 2009

OMG am i losing my mind or what?

A couple of weeks ago a guy and i stopped dating. I initiated the break because i felt i couldnt deal with what was going on. I thought it was best that we reamain friends and at least we could still have that. Well hear is the problem, i was hurt and felt empty at first but got over it. Yesterday I was talking to a guy friend about what happened and it took all of my strength to not drop some tears. I thought i was over this but obviously im not. He is suppose to help me do something today and i will see him. We havent seen each other since the split and now im freaking out. Im nervous, im on the verge of tears, my heart ACTUALLY is hurting right now. Ive been a little aloof with my feelings because of pride and anger. I dont know if i can control my feelings once i see him.

Im angry because i finally met a wonderful man, a man with the qualities i look for in a man that i would like to take seriously and see where it goes, and we cant be together. Dont get me wrong he is not married or anything and is not living with anyone (he is single) but he still has feelings or still in love with his sons mother. I cant deal and wont deal with it. Out side of this he is a great man and father. He treats and treated me like a queen but i cant deal with the situation.

We didnt think we would hit it off so well with each other and he is still a little uncomfortable with seeing me so soon being that his emotions are kinda a wreck also, the thing is he doesnt really know how i feel. Out side of that we were GOLD.


Someone please clue me in on how i can control my emotions without breaking down while with him.

Please help me.

- Asked by thicallover, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, New York, Administrative

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Sweety, first of all when we are emotional we have to be careful. Comunicating under high emotion can cause problems. If possible call off today, get your self together and then talk. Or Let it flow tears and all, get it out and you may feel so much better. Regardless of waiting to see him or seeing him today you need to not only need to be honest with him but to your self as well. Go with your heart and heal.

- Response by tan37, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Denver, Managerial

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I always wonder if these questions are serious, or just made up. There is mention of two (or possibly three) men here; it's just not a clear explanation. The information also doesn't mention how long you were seeing this guy you broke up with ... two weeks, two months or two years? Nevertheless, it sounds like you two didn't communicate very well, since you don't even know if "he has feelings or is in still in love with his son's mother". Which is it? It sounds like you haven't discussed it, and don't know what's going on, so you just ran away because you didn't know what else to do ........ I would suggest two things: First, before getting involved with someone, find out how long ago their last break up was, and get a good sense of if they are over them. Two, use the common sense God gave you, and learn how to communicate more effectively, ask good questions, and don't make assumptions. That woman is always going to be in his life, because of their son, and if you can't even deal with that fact, then, please, only date childless men.

- Response by tinkrbl, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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Get someone else to help you with whatever he was going to help you with and just let him go. How long were you even dating? There are plenty of fish in the sea that aren't in love with someone else that could give you what you deserve and need out of a relationship. You will only be cheating yourself if you try and still see him. Is there a reason why you go after unavailable men?

- Response by zinerva, An Engaged Girl, Female, 29-35, Dallas

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