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Are you okay with your significant other smoking weed/pot? And, do you do it yourself?
Dating / 8:47 PM - Wednesday November 25, 2009

Are you okay with your significant other smoking weed/pot? And, do you do it yourself?

I'm just curious how common this is - recently it seems my boyfriend's been getting into the habit of smoking a joint on the weekends. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this - well, no, I know I don't like it, but am not sure it's in my right to ask him not to do it.

I do want to be with him, but don't want to be with him when he's doing this.

Maybe I'm just being a buzkill though...

Would you be okay with your s/o smoking weed/pot?


- Asked by Female, 26-28

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Cannabis isn't an issue unless the user becomes dependent upon it, and realistically, marijuana as an escape is far better than
the various others to which people turn. Just take a look around; our nation is full of people who spend countless hours in front of the TV, hypnotized, decaying--people who begin every day with one, two, three, four cups of coffee, and would otherwise feel miserable. Don't even get me started on cigarettes. Alcohol has been proven fatal, whereas, to date, there isn't a single person who has died from marijuana alone. Its effects are minimal. It doesn't kill brain cells--the THC molecules attach themselves to brain cells, which only slows them down temporarily, and, depending on your chemical makeup, it may make you lethargic. Even so, comparatively speaking, legal substances such as alcohol and antidepressants have shown far more debilitating side-effects. Have you ever seen the commercials? "[blank] may cause internal bleeding, dizziness, etc."

I am an active user, but only on an infrequent basis, and in the event that I use, it's hardly anything. It alleviates depression, and helps ADD, so that I can focus on what I need to do. My girlfriend, too, uses, and also happens to be a highly responsible contributor to society.

As per the legal aspect--burreaucracy isn't ultimate reality. I don't follow the law becuase I'm told to do so. I follow it out of sheer human principle. Historically, lawmakers themselves haven't been the most upstanding rolemodels. Slavery and segregation were also legal at one point, and so was alcohol, which is to say, our lawmakers are just as human as we are. If they've been wrong before, they can be wrong now. They are not gods.

In many cases, marijuana users are some of the most intelligent, successful, well-read people on Earth, which is to say, marijuana itself is not a pivotal factor in a person's life. In other words, it's not like you're going to smoke pot and your entire life will fall apart. Our president has admitted to using marijuana. Some of your favorite comedians, musicians, and actors have probably used it.

And unfortunately, 99% of those who disapprove of marijuana don't even seem to know why they disapprove, all they know is they've been told by their mommies and daddies and the government that it's wrong, and god knows, they would never lie.

I, myself, was highly opposed to it when I was younger, and spent years researching it before I ever even took a hit. To this day, I've never even smoked a cigarette, never been drunk.

But anyway, if your boyfriend is using, but maintains his responsibilities, then there's no problem with it.

- Response by tactforwit, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 18-21, New York, Artist / Musician / Writer

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MJ is sort of legal here in Calif. And frankly, the the fact that it is illegal is pretty stupid anyway. But I wouldn't be with anyone that got drunk every weekend either...

Truth is that your statement "I know I don't like it, but am not sure it's in my right to ask him not to do it." I s a bit more scary to me... You need to know that you can speak up and you two together, need to negotiate the rules of conduct in your relationship. This time it is pot, next it might be something significantly different... Will you need to keep quiet then too?

- Response by siouxzen, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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Yeah its her body, as long as she doesn't treat me differently

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 18-21

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Of course, I am not his mom

- Response by A Creative, Female, 18-21, Student

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Pot is not a real big deal to me but I just don't want to be around it so I never am. If my S/O starts to make a habit of it I will say something and if that doesn't remedy it, lots of fish in the sea.....

- Response by canajun, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Vancouver, Self-Employed

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No more so than I would if he was drinking......If he is being responsible......and it's not interfering with any of the day to day stuff, so what...........but frankly, that is how I feel....YOU should discuss it honestly with him if it is bothering you that much......or just stay away from him when he is smokin'.......

- Response by zibet58, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Los Angeles, Teaching

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I would feel uncomfortable if it were every weekend.

If he did it occasionally, it wouldn't bother me. As long as he paid for it with discretionary funds AND they did not do drug testing at his place of employment and he didn't drive. In other words, he used it responsibility (which I understand is ironic since it's illegal).

If it were legal, I would smoke it. That's all I'm gonna say. :-)

- Response by myndseye711, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Guangdong, Who Cares?

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I'd be alot more not okay if he was drinking ever weekend, weed is safer than alcohol and makes you do less stupid things.

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 18-21

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I would not care as long as it is just casual smoking and it doesn't adversely affect him, our life and/or his ability to function.

It's exactly like...I wouldn't have a problem knowing my S/O had a drink of alcohol once in a while. But if he became an alcoholic, I'd have a big problem with that.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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It never bothered me. Smoking pot is the biggest open secret out there, you would be surprised at how accepted it is.

- Response by purrzn, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I do burn. And I would date somebody who did. It was always nice not paying for it.

- Response by ashmcawesome, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25

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VERY common.
Better that than someone who drinks. You never hear about someone smoking pot and going into a violent rage. it's only a big deal because it's been made into a big deal. smoking cigarettes is basically shunned by society but still not demonized (because people are used to it). Alcohol is not shunned by society because "everybody sees everybody doing it" so it's ok. Alcohol is much worst and causes one to make much worst decisions in my opinion thab weed.
i used to smoke weed but it interferes with my workouts. i'd rather smoke pot anyday before cigarettes or drink for that matter.


- Response by radiog, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, San Francisco

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Pot was a contributing factor to killing one relationship I had (which was just as well). I felt when he got high, he got more arrogant. The pot, and his attitude, became barriers between us.

My take on chemical substance usage, is that it tends to magnify problems that may already exist in less intense forms.

- Response by sbarr10, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Technical

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Speaking as someone who has never smoked ANYTHING ever....yeah...it would bug me

- Response by scooper, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Who Cares?

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I'm going to be totally honest and say that no I wouldn't be okay with it unless he is smoking it when he's not around me and then that's his choice to make it...however, if he is smoking it in front of me and I've asked him not to, then I would probably let him know that it's either his smoking or me that will be gone...since I don't smoke it, I don't mind if others smoke but please don't do it around me...:D

- Response by fastball, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Student

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The one time I was going to date a pot smoker it ended badly.

In my experience, people who do drugs on a regular basis have personality problems they can't deal with, so they cover them over with self-medicating.

It's not the drugs themselves, it's the fact that they use the drugs to self medicate that's been a problem for me with everyone I've known who's smoked it.

And I've never smoked it. I take a few non-addictive prescription drugs (they are non-controlled substances and can be bought without a prescription online) on a regular basis to control pain. None of them are mind-altering in the least.

I just don't have any respect for someone who NEEDS a mind altering drug when there ARE drugs out there that control pain without altering your state of consciousness. JMO.

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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First of all, if he is only smoking on the weekend, he has no problem. I would not care if my guy smoked occasionally. I would have more of a problem, if we were talking about alcohol.

- Response by randyl, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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No and no. But I'm in the same situation as you...I had an affair with a guy who smoked weed or legal drugs and I couldn't insist on him stopping to do that. I never saw him do it but I knew that he did... If you ask me, it's hard to find a guy who listens to the same music as me and is 'clean'. I would prefer my s/o to be as clean as I am, but...

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25

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No and No

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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If it were LEGAL, then I wouldn't have a problem with him smoking it every once in a while (3-4 times a year) - and I'd probably join him sometimes. But as long as it's ILLEGAL, I do have problems with it. I would prefer he didn't smoke it at all, but if he wants to do it - it can't be in my house, our cars or anything else that might put me in jail.

Yes, your bf has the right to do what he wants with his body (I believe) but then he also has to take responsibility for what he has done; and he does not have the right to endanger you by doing something that will put you in jail. If the cops find pot in YOUR home, do you think they will accept your saying "I never did it, it's all my bf?" What if they find it in YOUR car, or in HIS place while you are there?

Tell him straight up that he can do what he likes with HIS body but you will no longer be in any place where he has smoked pot. If he smokes at his apartment - you only meet at your place.

BTW, even if pot WERE legal, I would not be OK with my husband smoking it every weekend. Just like I'm not OK with my husband drinking more than a couple of glasses of wine except on rare occasions. However, I'm MARRIED to my husband. Because we are married, we both have more responsibilities to each other - I have the right to ask him not to drink too much and he has the right to expect me to take care of myself, too. If you are not married to someone, though, I don't think you can reasonably ask them to change their behavior; you can, however, insist they not put YOU in danger.

- Response by curvysmartgirl, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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ummmm see I would be personally against my boyfriend smoking pot or weed. I think that you have every right to ask him nicely to refrain from smoking. I mean don't be a bitch about it, but its not too much to ask that he doesn't do it, or if he does, to not do it on a regular basis, you know?? thats just my opinion though.

- Response by aeg11293, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Fitness

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I really enjoyed smoking pot at one point in my life. I had friends who liked it as well, and we all smoked together. It did not escalate into any other drug, for any of us, as some people always predict. But one day, I just decided that I didn't want to do it anymore. This was not as a result of any pressure on the part of anyone. Some of my friends still smoke occasionally, but even when they do it in my presence, none of them encourages me to smoke again. This has been entirely my decision, and that is my entire point. You can't tell him what to do; he will grow to resent you for that. You can choose not to be in his presence when he does it, and he must respect this. Some people really enjoy it, and some manage it very well. It doesn't have to become a problem. Now, if he starts buying weed instead of paying the rent or the mortgage, then you have another problem, and nobody would blame you for getting the hell out of there.

- Response by evadim, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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I don't have a problem with my partner smoking pot, but I would be a pretty big hypocrite if I did, because I smoke a lot myself. I don't think you should ask your boyfriend to stop smoking pot IF
1) His smoking is not interfering with his responsibilities (ie, he doesn't drive, go to work, or do anything dangerous while high) and
2)His smoking isn't interfering with his relationships. If his smoking is affecting you, you should talk to him about it. If not, let him be, he's not harming anyone.

- Response by steff81, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Toronto, Who Cares?

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I would rather not know if he did it, and for sure wouldn't want him to have any on his person around me or anywhere on or around my property.
I don't use it. I would prefer someone I date not to also. It's illegal and being around it at the wrong time can get you in trouble. I don't understand why so many are so relaxed about that fact.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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my GF does and I am ok with it

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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my BF does, well only when it's offered to him, so, not that much, so it doesn't really bother me

- Response by alysya216, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21, Edmonton

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U will be surprised how many ppl smoke Pot. A casusl smoker is ok.As long as the casual user CONTROLS it and NOT have the CANIBIS CONTROL THEM.
PPL who abuse/smoke 24/7 have issues and related to Mental Health and addictive substance abuse etc. Canibis is also medication for some Patients with certain Health issues. Natural weed is better than the chemical Hydro weed..


- Response by berri, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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So long as it doesn't impede their ability to live their everyday life, it's fine by me.

- Response by tabbycat1, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, London, Internet / New Media

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