Back to Home

Active Questions

Why does she say she loves me yet she's going out with another guy??
Dating / 3:58 PM - Wednesday February 03, 2010

Why does she say she loves me yet she's going out with another guy??

OK... Where to start... My names Paul and i'm seriously confused with this current situation i'm in currently... There's this girl called Heather and i'm madly in love with her... We met about 4 months ago and we started out as friends, but as time went on we started dating and really started to like each other.... She told me a few times when we were dating that she wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone yet... I like her so i thought ok then i'll give it more time. We had an argument a couple of weeks ago and we've patched things up now,,, But she told me that she's in a relationship with a guy now... I know she was obviously looking about over the time we knew each other, but the thing i don't understand is we went out the other night, because she wanted to know if i was ok, because she knows how much i really like her... And she told me on that night that she wants to stay really close friends and said "you're my male bestfriend" And then later on that night she said that she loved me... And we were flirting, huging and kissing all night.... I just don't understand... I said to her if you like me that much then dump him and go with me... Does she really like me or am i being played??? She told me that she couldn't... but its after that conversation that all the flirting etc, started!! WTF am i supposed to do here??????? I love her to much to just walk away, but i feel likei'm being played for a mug!.. I don't know who to talk to.. please i need some advise from anyone....

- Asked by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 22-25, London

Read more about the Rating System

Her words are telling you that she doesn't want a relationship with you. Sorry. Her actions show that she's just a big flirt.

To be fair to yourself, you should go cold turkey and stay away from her for a while so you can get over her. Your not going to be able to with her hanging on you.
She doesn't like it? Well, waaaah. She'll get over it. She doesn't want the relationship so she needs to respect your wishes to take care of yourself.

- Response by pookiedoo, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

She's keeping you interested in case things end with her guy. She is using you. She's disrespecting you. If she really wanted to be with YOU, she could. She is choosing not to.

Stay FAR away from women like this. They are NOTHING but trouble. She's a fake, selfish wench and very disloyal.

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:

She told you that she wasn't looking for a relationship, but started one with some other guy. There's your answer. She just doesn't want a relationship with you. Move on and save yourself a lot of pain. She likes having you around to play with your emotions, but she isn't serious about you. Don't be a mug.

- Response by used2bsane, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Denver, Other Profession

Rating Received:

real simple dude, but you will not like it so you will probably not act accordingly

fact: if a woman likes a man she will do whatever in her power to be with him, to hang out with him to date him, etc

your girl is NOT doing that for you, so what can you conclude?

if she wanted to be with you she would not be dating other men, thats all there is too it,

she is dating other guys so she is not that into you

you are too available for her, you let her know you like her, so not she knows she owns your ass, so you are not a challenge to her at all

and all women want a challenge

either way, curb your feelings or suffer your ignorance, what i have told you is universal fact my man

now, what you need to do is be aloof, don't call her, if you two talk keep it simple, if you hang out, make sure you got to go somewhere soon, start trying to date other girls

either way you move on dude, cause she has, and you are just suffereing if you do not

time to realize it was not meant to be and give yourself time, and start to talk to other girls, date other girls, etc

you called you a friend, and in womaniess that means "she wants to be a friend, but has no romantic feelings for you, and no, they will not grow to be

good luck


- Response by beautifulloser, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Executive

Rating Received:

She is not really the one for you. Do you really want to go thru this game? I like you, I love you, I really do not want a relationship, I am in a relationship with someone else, etc..
Think about this. Is this the one for you? Find someone who is on the same page as you. The same mentality as you. Wanting the same relationship as you without the drama. I suggest you start looking else where. Unless you really want to fight for her. Maybe that is what she is looking for. Attention from two guys. Guys fighting over her. Vying for your love. Really think about this. Is it worth it?

- Response by lowmy, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Baltimore, Science / Engineering

Rating Received:

She seems to be very confused and if I was you, I'd be out of there. So many times, women go after the guy we think we ought to be with, instead of the one that's right for us. At least if you step back, you'll give her the chance to realize what she's missing. Otherwise, she could hurt you while she's still trying to figure herself out.

- Response by mssassychica, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, London, Executive

Rating Received:

If there's one thing I've learned in dating, it's that when someone tells you something that they know you don't want to hear, they mean it. If she says that she wants to be in a relationship with this other guy and not you, then she means that. Her actions only mean that she's flirtatious and prone to giving in to temptation.

- Response by lollerz, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Student

Rating Received:

I was in a relationship with a girl who had a boyfriend. I thought I was in love her so much it wasn't funny. I asked her to break up with her boyfriend after several months of dating her but she refused. Then out of no where she broke up with her boyfriend and started loving me but by that time I found out that I didn't love her as I thought I did. The heart is a funny thing and so unpredictable. You may feel one way and later have a change of heart and mind.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55

Rating Received:

gwt over it , you been played mate. she dont love you!!! coz if she did she would be with you. you dig

- Response by bee14, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, London, Financial / Banking

Rating Received: