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I'm having a nervous breakdown. My sweet handsome boyfriend is contacting girls on craigslist ! Run
Dating / 3:09 PM - Friday February 19, 2010

I'm having a nervous breakdown. My sweet handsome boyfriend is contacting girls on craigslist ! Run

im moving to a new city where my bf lives in 5 weeks
friends for 3 years and dating for 10 months (we were dating other people before that)
weve spent every major holiday together, our birthdays, been snowed in together twice this winter.
ive met his parents many times and am very close friend with his brother.

but i started to hear rumors that he was seen out in town with a couple different girls.

finally something made me, a sixth sense check out craigslist personals on a random hunch.

i found an ad that sounded like my bf but was in the town next to his and his hair color was listed as brown and not black.

i decided to reply to the ad using a fake profile.
well boom he replied and sent a photo.

i feel so sick. and whats worse is that he posted the ad just TWO HOURS after dropping me at the train station after a 4 day Valentine's Day weekend together.

i thought we had such a great time too :(:(:(

do I confront him ? do i go limited contact ? what do i do ?

i loved him so so so much.

Update: February 20, 2010.
that doesnt sound like him at all, but who knows.

Update: February 19, 2010.
like an @ce p0ker player, i was cryptic and finally emailed him that i couldnt believe he of all people would betray me, that i loved him a lot and that im beyond numb and hurt. so now if he has being doing multiple bad sneaky things he must be wondering what the hell i know.

- Asked by A Creative, Female, 29-35, New York, Fashion

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I'm sorry you're having to go through this, but I think it's best, since you haven't been heeding our advice here. You posted numerous times and we kept telling you that the guy is NOT emotionally in the relationship. We kept telling you to run away. And now you're thinking about limited contact? Girl, this guy is a cheater AND an user. You need to go NO contact!!! he's lost to you, has been for months, you just refused to see it.

In any case, he should be off your list. I would probably just break up with him, mentioning nothing, just to get my revenge, because that way HE will be wondering why you broke up when everything was so great.

Sending him your picture in response might be a fun revenge, too.

You need to break up with him asap, with or without sending him your photo.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Student

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You do what you feel you need to do.

Personally for me, it's a done deal. I would probably respond with my pic and wish him good luck finding the gal of his dreams.

This will let him know you know he is a liar and a cheating bastard, but give you the last word.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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Community Rating: Community Star

No - Just send him a picture in response and say NOTHING!

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

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Ew why are you even questioning what to do. Get the hell away from that lying, cheating pile of cow manure. Life's too short for people who don't treat you right.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Give him what he asked for in the ad and see he reacts to it. Continue talking to him through craigslist and find out what he is looking for in a woman that you don't have or not offering at home.

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Alternative Medicine

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Leave him. He's a liar and a cheater. That is never going to change.

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

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I'd have the fake you make a date with him. Then meet him and ask what the hey-nonny he thinks he's up to.

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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Why do you even have to ask this?
Seriously. He's done this before- this isn't the first ad he's put out there, I can bet on that and win.
Get RID of him. He will continue to cheat.
Tell him you know about the ad, and it's OVER. Then don't bother with him again.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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Absolutely confront him! The asshole! Tell him he has been caught red handed. If you want revenge, show up as the person whose ad he responded to and make him feel like shit. Then walk away for good.

- Response by clementine386, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Don't play games with him. Just let him know that YOU know what he is doing and tell him good-bye. Better to cut your losses and chalk it up to experience. If it smells like a rat it probably is a rat.

- Response by patton, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Honey, with that much dishonesty and cheating, you know you have to drop him entirely.

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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No doubt he was "handsome", but certainly he was not "sweet", and not really your boyfriend either. I am glad you said you "loved" him, as opposed to "love" him. I think you have to realize that half of what you loved was a false idealized image of him. And the other half was probably the idea that you had successfully caught an alpha male. But they tend not to stay caught.

- Response by unluckyloveatfirstsighter, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

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what is wrong with men? maybe hes a sex addict! one thing you know is how can you trust him or respect him now? it sounds mean but why not actually put yourself on that site and let him see what it feels like. if hes on that site hes probably on other sites too! sounds like hes not ready to commit. you know the feeling you had when you found out hes cheating? and you both had a great long weekend!!! wow.....he is not worth it. why would you give someone like that your heart. if you keep seeing him you will never trust a man because he will hurt you over and over. could you really ever trust him?

- Response by cheryllettuce52, A Creative, Female, 56-65

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Bottom line: You are both playing games. Why you? Because good relationships need to be based on good, honest and open, communication. Sure, you caught him sending out his photo on Craigslist -- but you are certainly jumping to conclusions on how he really feels about you and what he wants. There could be MANY possibilities: He could be feeling some serious feelings towards you and want to "get out" a bit to make sure he is ready for a serious commitment -- and many other possibilities. The only way to truly know what he is doing, and why, and how he feels -- is to ASK him!!! Not "confront" him. There is a difference. Don't make assumtions and act on them. Stay calm and cool and DISCUSS the situation with him. This isn't the Jerry Springer show -- it's real life -- and your best bet is to talk things out rationally. After your discussion(s) you will know better what is best for you to do. Keep your composure, stay calm, and simply talk to him about it. You may find out he has some real reasoning behind it, or you may find out that he is just a big A-hole. Either way, don't assume and attack --

- Response by markm, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, San Diego

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dump him woman you can do better

- Response by melissabubble14, A Sportif, Female, 22-25, Edmonton, Medical / Dental

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You do need to confront him not only for closure for you but because he needs to know that you know what he was not contacting him or confronting him on this, you are giving him an 'easy' out from the relationship and to be honest, I think that will only make it that much harder for you to move have the 'proof' you need and now you need to do what you need to do to work through this...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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You know what's weird? You're bf is on answerology, cause someone asked that same question from the guy's perspective. But yeah, obviously dump him. Much better guys out there!

- Response by jeter998, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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Contact me :)

- Response by colette, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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