A great catch at 45 and ready for a committed relationship,but off to poor start;lost 3 sofar.Help

Young looking 45 yr old, single mother of 14 yr old son, who's "ripe" and ready to commit to a long-term relationship. A great catch, eventhough a work in progress. Intelligent, hillarious, "sexy", passionate, affectionate, etc. Started off on the wrong foot, however, and managed to scare 3 or 4 away already. Help! Do I seem too desperate? My friend Jim says I might be intimidating? I refuse to compromise in certain areas. Help

Update: July 04, 2009.
Hmmm? Interesting... And, where are all these men? Who want a woman like me....?

Update: July 04, 2009.
All of us...Who is in your corner..Obviousely you haven't read the many favorable, more pleasant replies, I've received, just in the last 30 minutes...Turns out you're in a bigger, somewhat discriminatory, minority than you realize. But that's fairly common. To find the finger pointer, who makes ignorant statements, all alone..

Update: July 04, 2009.
Well, lets see. If I was I probably wouldn't want to tell you..for fear I'd have to read more narrow minded, less than intelligent, judgements statements, like those you're prone to making.... But I am curious as to how you are making your "Assessment"...Are you using a form of clinical, diagnostic format I'm unaware of?.. And then, I can't help but ask...Why, are you????

Update: July 04, 2009.
Someone else you've tried to slam, disrespect and expressed a "narrow minded attitude" towards, no doubt... A piece of work...as my dad would say..."how did that jab feel?" about as good as yours do I bet? Life is too short and everyone will oneday face their judge..You are not it, I'm afraid.

Update: July 04, 2009.
Oh that's an intelligent response...basta'..no mas. I won't even have to get my son over here to translate that..I hope you don't go around "poo pooing" too many people, because it's probably one of the more degrading, disrespectful things you can do to another person..Like kicking dirt under your show..."You're not worth my time", so to speak..Talk about limiting your prospects and "guarenteeing" a limited amount of relationship prospects....I think I'll have a few more to choose from....Wanna bet?

Update: July 04, 2009.
Two engagements, no marriage...Had insight back then too, I guess..Couldn't stand, even the though of going through divorce. And thank you, sir, for the compliment....I guess I'm comfortable using terms like "ripe", "ready"..because I am comfortable in my own skin and have worked hard to get that way. My first priority is to set a good example form son. I want him to grow to respect women, treat them accordingly, know how to respond to them (and all their, sometimes difficult, attitudes) and lead, where they can follow...thanks again.."my kinds man"

Update: July 04, 2009.
I'm sorry if I conveyed that idea..but I'm with you...I have healthy, very rational ideals when it comes to involving my son, etc. That's why I've been basically single, for the past 14 years....And don't get me wrong....when I say I scared off 3...One I met once for coffee, after phone calls and emails...(his divorce wasn't final..a little tidbit he forgot to mention), the other I saw twice, after many text message, emails, hour long phone conversations...then disappeared after a nice visit, a hug and a "see you later" good bye...(then an email after 2+ weeks saying he "didn't know how to handle the FEELINGS he was starting to feel) Red Flag, red flag and I'm gone...the third..developing a good friendship..mutual interest in addiction treatment/various modalities..sharing new material..etc...A little bit difference pic now? Thanks for reply

Update: July 04, 2009.
A person relating to me....Wow! Refreshing...incomparis on to the unintelligent, judgemental, uncouth comments I've been reading. Confidence intimidates and sparks the Jealousy and insecurity in others....It's sad...And I'm speaking from experience as a "former lasher". It would behoove these "lashers" to remember..."Words can be like knives..They can cut, pierce hearts and mortally wound" Just ask the many, many victims of domestic violence and abuse I've counseled in the past 20 years...Thanks again for the pleasant reply

Update: July 04, 2009.
Yes, yes. Finally some good insight and advise. Thank you. A far cry from the judgemental, narrow minded, down grading stuff I've read so far. Thanks again....

Update: July 04, 2009.
Oh, please offer more suggestions. Should I abandon all "adversive" morals and ethics, only speak when spoken to, offer little to know opinion, unless asked, tone down my end of the conversation, because, if I don't, they might catch wind of how much I know and be a yes, yes, yes woman, as opposed to No, that's not ok, or no thank you sir. And regarding high maintainence..I am the polar opposite. So far from materialistic, or being a "honey do this and honey do that" than 95% of the women you know. Confidently, speaking.

Update: July 04, 2009.
What is your definition of Scary in this context? I believe you're taking my "humor" far too seriousely...I didn't say how long, any one of these 3 were around...(there's not a whole heck of a lot of room to do so) One I met for coffee one time, after a few brief phone conversations and emails. Turned out his divorce wasn't final, yet, and so on. (no compromise) The second I met for coffee once, then he came to visit me at a friend's house, after spending the day of moving. Numerous text messages and a few hour long conversations, then a friendly good-bye hug, see you later and "I'll call you" to "I'm sorry about disappearing (2 weeks), but I started feeling feelings I didn't know how to deal with"...etc., etc. A few red flags and no compromise..Hello? The third..is still calling and we're forming a friendship. He like to pick my brain about conseling type stuff...My training in addiction treatment and recovery has sparked an interest and he's sharing some "updated" cognitive behaviorial stuff he's learned..Hello? (Too intimidating?)

Update: July 04, 2009.
OMG it's just a figure of speech. Basically, I'm trying to say I have "no baggage", no hang-ups (believe it or not), confident...not hung up on a bunch of insecurities, which may otherwise cause me to "pass judgement", make statements out the side of my neck...or try to make people feel less significant, to make myself feel better. I've done a lot of soul searching..I had to to do the type of work I do. I "help" people, for a living. Encourage them, support them, help them gain insight....etc. Taking things so literally can be dangerous, and something many might want to take heed to!

Update: July 04, 2009.
When I was young, naive, a little insecure and lacking in wisdom and experience...I compromised on "decisions", boundaries, ethics, some beliefs..more of a follow; a people pleasure..These are things I won't compromise on now. My standards are higher, because they have to be..and should be. I wouldn't "compromise" the safety of my son, my reputation, spiritual beliefs, or moral values...Any Clearer..I don't make an announcement..certainly ...from the get go. Certainly not. Words aren't always necessary. The way we carry ourselves, speak, respond, act/or reacte, etc.

Update: July 04, 2009.
Everyone is a work in progress..We never completely arrive..always changing, growing,transforming... HELLO....