Answerology: Give Advice

one day you'll realize.......

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:20:46 GMT

Never turn down the conversation of a child.

desperately need opinions!

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:29:28 GMT

for a long time now my mom has wanted to find her dad who abandon her over 40 years ago.she is not angry with him but just wants to know him.my mom is not very good with computers so she asked me to search for her dad.i recently found a couple of guys who shared his name and kind of fit the profile,i msged them and today i finally got a response from one of them.he asked me to tell him a bit about my self but the thing is im not sure what to say because if i tell him he may be my grand father it can scare him off! what should i say or do?

My ex said he can't possibly attend his baby twins memorial service.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:52:04 GMT

Simply because his girlfriend is so upset by it all that he doesn't want to cause her any more stress and upset, by him attending. I mean what planet is this guy on they where his son and daughter as well as mine. And it's only been 4 weeks since they died. I shouted at him and lost it, all he could say is why are you shouting, you don't understand that i am trying so hard to please everyone here. What rot i mean he didn't come to the hospital and see them because he said he couldn't because his girlfriend was to upset and shocked by it, and she didn't want him to leave the house. Ok he did pay half for the service but never helped with the arrangments. Told me to do it by myself because he had to be with his girlfriend because he needed to make things up to her, and it would stress her if he helped. And now he dosen't want to come again because of her. I don't care if he is there or not but i belive he should be there for them. I mean it was his son and daughter for f*ck sake. Why can't he just show up for them. Instead of putting his girlfriend first.

it ended with him saying he needs to think more about her in cass she walks out on him and he doesn't want to loose her. What are these people?.

I went and told as many people as i could about what he had done. Which he had ago at me for. But i don't care because i am so mad with him. Wouldn't you be mad???. How eles could it be handled?.

Sanity or no sanity?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:03:23 GMT

I am currently unemployed, live with my sister, and am her primary caregiver. She is terminally ill from ovarian cancer. My focus is taking care of her. She is at the point she needs someone to be in the same room with her at all times.

I live here along with her husband and son who is 36 years old. Neither one of them do anything around the house to help. I do it because if I don't my sister will attempt to do it even though she can't stand for more than 5 minutes. I have talked with both of them expressing my need for help. It works for a couple days. I try to leave the house at least once a week sometimes two. There are weeks that I don't leave the house at all because my brother-in-law won't sit with her or just leaves the house. I'm beginning to go insane.

Here is my question. Am I being selfish in wanting to leave here every day and let my brother-in-law figure out what to do during the day? I would come back at night to take care of her since that is the time she really wants me here.

I hope all this makes sense.
Doxie

Do you think you did a better job parenting the second time around?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:05:45 GMT

You always hear that the first one is the practice baby that you make all the mistakes with. Is that true? Do you think you did a better job the second time around?

What are the signs of being a drunk?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:52:31 GMT

ok my family is so less than perfect and it seems like every single time something goes wrong i drink not like everyday all day but the nights i do i get smashed and then call said family and lash out very embarrassing but thats what i do i mean back in college i drank like a fish but now that i'm older its just whenever there is family drama so am i a drunk?

Repair or replace????

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:45:35 GMT

So my son killed his laptop (hard drive)....It's 18 months old, originally $1000(he purchased it himself). I can't figure out if I should repair it at a cost of between $200-$300. Or just buy a new one for about $500-600. Or another option is to get him a notebook instead but I've heard good and bad things about those. So my AO friends help me out. What's your opinion? He uses the computer for school work and of course for facebook, playing games and downloading music.

Update: November 20, 2009.
Actually your responses made me think. He does need a laptop for school. Blue is right even though he spent his own money on it he is probably not as careful as an adult would be. I may just give him my laptop and get myself a new one. Money is a little tight right now so I was considering getting him it for christmas but don't think he would appreciate me wrapping up my old laptop and saying merry christmas. LOL. Thanks guys!!

Is the mother really saying she doesnt want her daughter near again?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:35:23 GMT

After a couple of years of a bad relationship, almost none, a mother and a daughter decide to "celebrate" Christmas and the daughter s birthday together.

For the birthday, the mother cooks the only dish she knows her daughter doesnt like nor eats. For Christmas, the mother buys a 79 cent last minute gift bought at the corner shop.

Is the mother really saying she doesnt want her daughter there?

Why do moms always yell at their youngest?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:44:18 GMT

Grrr my mom has been on my back all morning first it was because i had only one finger on the steering wheel like i always do.And now she is complaining that i don't cook for her anymore. She wanted me to be out doing things and not that i am she is upset. She doesn't yell at my 30 year old brother when he does something wrong.

Mi casa, su casa, but not your kids

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:06:18 GMT

I've asked this before in the past, and got some backwards answers.

If you have guests over at your house and they have kids, who's primary responsibility is it to ensure that the kids behave, and your property isn't destroyed?

Last time I asked, most people said the host. I thought that was b.s. Since when does parental responsibility shift to the host, just because it's their home? If it's going to be like that, then you're not welcome.