GIVE ADVICE ON FAMILY & PARENTING

My boyfriend insists on spending holidays with his almost 20 year old twins and their mother!

My boyfriend of 6 years still insists on spending holidays with his almost 20 year old twins and their mother! At first I didn't think anything of it because 6 years ago I thought it was important for his kids to be with their parents during the holidays since they were no longer a traditional family. The kids are now going on twenty and he and his family continue to have holiday's together with his ex and they exclude me. They claim that the younger kids in his sisters family just wont understand why their aunt and uncle are no longer together and why their uncle is with someone else.

I feel so alone on the holidays and I feel like I am not important enough for him to stand his ground with his family and insist on including me as part of the family. I have never discouraged him from spending time with his kids or his family but I just don't understand why he can't give up his ex-wife during the holidays and start including me as his family now. Is this normal or am I asking for too much?

Do you believe it is possible to miss someone you never really knew?

Like a grandparent that died while you were still very young? An absentee mother or father? A musician, even?

I am Jewish. My sister is a born-again (Jewish) Christian

She will happily tell you (whether or not you ask) that she has been saved. If someone believes in "being saved", wouldn't being mean, vicious, cruel to others change that status, if in fact it were true (and not sure how someone proves that).

I am totally open to everyone believing in whatever religion they believe in, particularly if it makes them a better person. This is certainly not the case with my sister.

Okay so my live in BF and I have been tossing the idea of marriage around,

to the point we even looked at rings yesterday. Now this morning he said he said that he wanted to take care of me. That he would play the role he needs to play for my son, but it was me he wanted to take care of.

Now the part that bothers me is that my son and I are a package. Shouldn't he have said that he wanted to take care of "US" and not just me? I know he loves me and my son, but the comment he made left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

If you want me, you have to want both of us. Am I right or wrong in thinking this way?

(info... my son's father is not part of his life at all, so my son has no father figure but this man in my life)

Thoughts please!

WHAT TO DO NEXT?????????????????

I will be retiring in another year.
I live in Brooklyn NY and want to move where there is not so much hustle and bustle going on.
No more than 1- 1 1/2 hrs from NYC, ok no more than 2hrs. What areas are nice and quiet
and pretty safe ( I know, not 100%) for a single woman. Also the cost of living would have to be less

On the news: A taser used on a 10 year old girl?

Though the mother consented in order to control her "violent behavior" , she is 10 years old, for God's sake! What are we doing to our children>
A taser?

arggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

argie

Is it possible to marry yr step-father's son?

Prayer is very Powerful. Please Pray for My Sister as She is in the Hospital.

Last night my sister was admitted to emergency and this morning at 6 AM, she just got a room in the critical care unit. She found out she has diabetes. She hasn't been herself for the past month and I kept telling her to see a doctor. Anyway, please pray for the doctors to help stabilize her condition as her blood sugar levels are high. I know she will definitely have to change her lifestyle and diet. I hope to be able to see her later today. Please keep her in your prayers. Thanks Friends!

Update: November 18, 2009.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! My daughter and I went to see my sister and she is doing much better, low on potassium and alittle weepy having such a scare. She never told me she was feeling bad for months only bits and pieces, blurry vision, thirsty all the time, fatigued with no energy and this weekend she could barely talk to me so I had been telling her to see a doctor. Any tips for diabetics would be appreciated. You know that I will be on her case to exercise and eat right since I'm such a gym rat. Take care and have a good evening! Hugs, Hulagirl

Update: November 18, 2009.
Hi Friends, Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. I truly appreciate it! My sister is being moved to a regular room this afternoon and as soon as I find out where, I'll be going to visit her. I'm just waiting now to pick up my daughter from school and then go to the hospital. (((HUGS))) to all of you!

I had to have an abortion because having the baby could kill me and now my cousin hates me!

And yes I had to have it. My body reacts badly to pregnancy and my last child nearly killed me. Me and my husband are careful We use condoms (I have a schedualed to have essure done (a sterilzation procedure) We had a condom break something.

She told me that I should have carried the baby as far to term as I could. Never mind I have two children who would be motherless if I tried to have another child. I know this is because she can't get pregnant at all, and as soon as I figured out who told her I'm going to kick their tails.

Like this hasn't been hard enough on me. How do I explain it to her. How do I make her understand I would LOVE to have had another child but I can't leave the two kids I have motherless.

Anyone have suggestions on books for being a step father?

I recently married a woman with a 10 year old son. He is a very intelligent child (in a high achieving class) but has behavior issues. He tends to be disrepectful to adults. We have a fairly good relationship, but I do not know when it is appropriate (if any time) to provide my opinion on how his behavior or on discipline in general. His father is in his life, but I a limited basis. He sees his father once or twice a month. The father and I have a good relationship. I want to respect the mother and father by not being over reaching. I think my role is to be an adult figure friend, but I struggle with the role. Any advice?