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Sex & Intimacy / 7:19 AM - Tuesday November 10, 2009 Back To Top

What does he want??? Mixed signals

Bill and i were friends for years. One of us was always in a relationship but there was always flirtation between us. A few months ago we both became single at the same time. We went out a few times in groups and the sexual tension was totally obvious. He started emailing/calling me a lot. He talked about very personal things. He told me that he liked me on an emotional level (whatever that means) as well as being hot for me.

So flash forward to last weekend: We finally hooked up after a night of drinking with friends. He said he loved the oral sex (he said I was a 9 1/2 on a scale of 10). That was as far as we went.

Then about ten minutes after, he said "I don't know what to do because you're not the kind of girl you just throw away when you're done with."

What the hell does that mean??

He called the next day and didn't even mention the hook up. But he asked if we could hang out next weekend, just the two of us. (I can't b/c I'm busy but I suggested the following weekend.)

Now his emails are totally different - all flirtation has stopped. He talks about work, weather, pets, etc. But yet he's eager to confirm plans to go out in two weeks.

I'm so confused. What does he want? If he wants more hooking up then why isn't he flirting anymore? Does he possibly want more than that?

- Asked by Female, 29-35
Sex & Intimacy / 11:42 PM - Monday November 09, 2009 Back To Top

I almost had an affair 2 months ago. Trying to figure out where things stand with us now?

Over 2 months ago, I almost had an affair with a co-worker. We live in different places (me in U.S. and he is American, but working out of England right now) and both are married. I know...this was wrong, but I had very deep feelings for him for years. Anyway, we did kiss and had long discussions when he was in town, but ultimately he decided that he shouldn't go through with it because of his kids. He said he had to try to find a way to put his feelings away for me. It was a very hard time for me, as I truly care for him. He didn't even want to be with me one time, as he said if we started something, it wouldn't end.

Since then, we've gone back to our lives, but I still find it very hard as I care about him so much. We talk when we need to, but always about buisness, though there's this other connection between us. This past week, we've been talking more again (flirting almost without even knowing we are doing it). I ended up telling him a story about some major business person I met on a business trip who knew of him overseas and really respected his work. I told him about it and you could tell it pumped his ego right up. He said I always know what to say. We were talking about a place I had visited and he interrupted me and started saying 'you know, where you had that special and perfect trip with your husband' and kept saying it like he was trying to get a reaction out of me. I finally said it was a while ago now and he got serious and said i feel ya.

Since then, we've had some back and forth emails. Then he sends me this one line email that just says he told the story about business man who respected his work to his wife and she just ignored him and walked away and put an emoticon wink next to it. What's that supposed to mean?

Just trying to figure out what this means. I know people are going to say, it doesn't matter, you are married and I do know that. But I'm also human and just want to know if he still wants me and has feelings/thoughts for me or am I totally imagining things here? I'm not very in tune with that sort of stuff.

- Asked by Female, 26-28
Sex & Intimacy / 1:45 AM - Monday November 09, 2009 Back To Top

I would like to know if i am over reacting, and what other women in my situation would do?

My boyfriend of one year,, whom i live with... and who i have had this same issue with in (feb +june,,,, where he begged for my forgiveness and now has done it again.... he makes friends with woman that i dont know and text messages with them.... he is not from here and does not have many friends but does that give him the right to make friends with woman??? and offer to drive an hour to save them from their date....(that happened in feb 2009.... in june 2009 i caught him skyping with a "married woman in Israel... writing flirtatious things... nothing sexual just flirting,,,but enough to hurt my feelings was said.. no respect... anyway now he is in a soccer lleague,, where there is only men except for ONE "married" girl... she is 25 he is 29.. him and this girl play on the same team together... i saw they communicate through Facbook,, i came across a text message from her wishing him harmless birthday wishes.... then i came across a message that he wrote her on halloween 15 min after dropping me off at my best freinds house,,,,, asking her what she was doing that night.... he had plans to go to a strip club with his friend and then our neighbor who is also a girl joined them,, who he by the way text 30 seconds after the soccer girl... in his phone i saw older messages asking her weeks before (oct 7, 14) if she was coming to soccer today... but the ironic thing is he did not take the 10 seconds to program her name in the phone this whole time.. and when i went to soccer with him she was sitting across from us and he did not introduce us... anyhow given the history this was a bother to me.,,, tried to talk about it and he got defensive turned into an argument and now i am at my best friends house.... my question is,,,, should a man commited to his girl friend who he want to spent the rest of his life with be making friends with woman who 1 are married and then asking them to hang out with him?????? i think i can answer myself,, NO... just need others input to know i am not nuts.... i am very secure of myself dont get me wrong and i am not trying to sound conceded but i can get many men if i wanted to... thank you for your time and effort!!!!!
All the best

- Asked by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28
Dating / 8:30 PM - Saturday November 07, 2009 Back To Top

Need help with Ex girlfriend!!!

So I havent heard from my Ex girlfriend in over a month. She broke up with me about 2 months ago. Things were great, we were living together and what not. But she said she needed a break. I was texting and calling for a few weeks and got no response. So i stopped. I havent contacted her in over a month and now all of a sudden she is texting me.. Asking how im doing and what i have been up 2. I have a feeling that she still loves me and I still love her. I dont wanna push her away even tho i have nothing to lose considering she wasnt talking to me to begin with. I would really like to give things a second chance. I no her texting me may not mean anything. Some of her texts may look and seem like she is flirting with me but i may be looking at them the wrong way.

Is there anything I can do that wont push her away. I dont wanna ask her about me and her just yet. I no i should wait on her to contact me and make her do the work. Any advice....

- Asked by A Guy Critical, Male, 22-25, Construction
Dating / 6:09 PM - Saturday November 07, 2009 Back To Top

So, I'm not sure what to think..

I went out Friday night with some people who I've known since elementary school, this one girl was flirting with me all night.. at least I think.. she would grab my hands an swing them trying to get me to dance, she would poke my arms and my face lol not sure why.., and we were sitting across from each other and she would text me, at one point she took my hat an glasses and wore them, was she flirting with me? I think she has a boyfriend so, I don't think I should take it serious.

- Asked by Male, 22-25
Sex & Intimacy / 7:51 AM - Saturday November 07, 2009 Back To Top

I would like to know if i am over reacting, and what other women in my situation would do?

My boyfriend of one year,, whom i live with... and who i have had this same issue with in (feb +june,,,, where he begged for my forgiveness and now has done it again.... he makes friends with woman that i dont know and text messages with them.... he is not from here and does not have many friends but does that give him the right to make friends with woman??? and offer to drive an hour to save them from their date....(that happened in feb 2009.... in june 2009 i caught him skyping with a "married woman in Israel... writing flirtatious things... nothing sexual just flirting,,,but enough to hurt my feelings was said.. no respect... anyway now he is in a soccer lleague,, where there is only men except for ONE "married" girl... she is 25 he is 29.. him and this girl play on the same team together... i saw they communicate through Facbook,, i came across a text message from her wishing him harmless birthday wishes.... then i came across a message that he wrote her on halloween 15 min after dropping me off at my best freinds house,,,,, asking her what she was doing that night.... he had plans to go to a strip club with his friend and then our neighbor who is also a girl joined them,, who he by the way text 30 seconds after the soccer girl... in his phone i saw older messages asking her weeks before (oct 7, 14) if she was coming to soccer today... but the ironic thing is he did not take the 10 seconds to program her name in the phone this whole time.. and when i went to soccer with him she was sitting across from us and he did not introduce us... anyhow given the history this was a bother to me.,,, tried to talk about it and he got defensive turned into an argument and now i am at my best friends house.... my question is,,,, should a man commited to his girl friend who he want to spent the rest of his life with be making friends with woman who 1 are married and then asking them to hang out with him?????? i think i can answer myself,, NO... just need others input to know i am not nuts.... i am very secure of myself dont get me wrong and i am not trying to sound conceded but i can get many men if i wanted to... thank you for your time and effort!!!!!
All the best

Update: November 07, 2009.
Wow this was the first time i have ever posted anything,,, and its such real advice, i would like to thank all of you,, really you have made me a bit stronger today... because i am the type that needs to be reminded that its not ok..... Dont get me wrong if man was abusive to me physically or physically cheated on me there would be no 2nd time,,, that does not fly with me either,,, i respect myself way too much.... the thing is that obviously you dont know "BOB" so you cant really see how much he does love me,, and my best friend sees that, but she also agrees its not right.... his sister over seas agrees with me,,, he tells me i am the only one he wants to get old with etc... and i am not being naive when i say, when i look in his eyes i see the love!! i have traveled the world and lived many places when i was younger and i never gave men a chance because i was so afraid of the pain in the end... i even went to have my shakra's opened in austria in the mountains... my friends told me if i dont open up i will never experience love and relationships that are supposed to make you grow.. and out of all the men i let BOB into my life there has to be a reason for this.... i have not gone back to our new condo all day,, we just moved there in sept... he has tried to contact me twice on msn, but i wont respond,,,, he has a lot of evaluating and thinking to do, i would like to save this,,, but if this will continue and i have to an investigator and psycho spy, that will drain me and the relationship..... i am a hopeless romantic... could it ALL just be a misunderstanding,, maybe culture difference insecurity, easier to approach girl than guys?, especially at soccer because the other players look up to him?,,, and i am sure miss thang does too,,, stupid bitch,, hahahhah (sorry for the lengthiness, friends at an event, i cant dress up right now,,,,, so question if anyone is still awake after reading this,,;) WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE HIM GAIN MY TRUST AGAIN, well WHAT SHOULD HE DO...what should i expect??? help:) :(

- Asked by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28
Sex & Intimacy / 3:39 PM - Friday November 06, 2009 Back To Top

Should I stay or Should I go?

After spending 14 years at home raising children, my wife started to volunteer at a local hospital. While there, she mat several young ladies that introduced her to the modern internet sites such as Facebook, MySpace and several dating sites. She also got to talk to these ladies about their dating experiences. She was shocked at how girls changed since she was a twenty-something and how the girls have no moral boundaries today.

It was as if she woke up and discovered these things and began to focus all of this on me.

At first, she wanted to see my blackberry and ask me why I talked to this person or that. Then it was the computer, where she wanted my e-mail passwords and all of the browsing history. Next, she started accusing me of chat-ing with people and internet flirting.

The accusations got worse and she finally accused me of cheating on her. She bought a new cell phone and called private eyes. She bought a tracking device for my car. She even hired a lie detector investigator.

After the lie detector proved that I had done nothing, she calmed down for awhile. Then it started up again.

I started to see a counselor because I was getting depressed that the one person I thought would stand behind me, had pulled the rug out from under me.

After a few visits, I asked my wife to come and help me work through these issues. When she came to the appointments, all she did was complain about how I never supported her and she was stuck at home with the kids, while I travelled for my work. She wants me to respect her and buy her a big diamond ring to prove I love her.

The counselor told me that I ha to draw the line with my wife and separate from her if I could not get her to stop the accusations. We ended up moving away for a new job opportunity shortly after that.

She is still insulting me or accusing me of these things every day now.

I have tried to leave on various occasions, but we have several children and they don't understand even what we are fighting about. They hear these accusations being thrown around all the time.

I think she has OCPD and can't let go of this issue, even though she knows that it's not true and there has been no evidence that anything ever happened.

I have no course of action at this point other than to sit at home or go out with her and be insulted and denigrated.

- Asked by Male, 36-45
Sex & Intimacy / 8:34 AM - Thursday November 05, 2009 Back To Top

Flirting and being Provoking?

Me and an older (about 20 years older) female friend have been going on for weeks talking to eachother on the phone almost every day for hours... when we see eachother we flirt up a storm..

we've never done anything past holding eachother in bed or playing with eachothers hair or hands though because we're each in our own relationships.. oh yeah and the other day she put her finger in my mouth for a quick second to "taste" something we were cooking. like cmon.

Yesterday she told me it couldn't go on any longer...after weeks of her sounding like she most certainly would be open to hooking up... she said IIIII was provoking it to go on...and that eventually we were gonna fall... like she had nothing to do with it...


i don't understand that. what am i provoking that she isn't provoking?

did i get mixed signals?
is this bitch messing with my head?
i feel like slapping her.

- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?
Diet & Health / 4:20 PM - Wednesday November 04, 2009 Back To Top

Do you know the 10 signs of abuse ? (most common)

1. Jealousy & Possessiveness - Becomes jealous over your family, friends, co-workers. Tries to isolate you. Views his woman and children as his property instead of as unique individuals. Accuses you of cheating or flirting with other men without cause. Always asks where you've been and with whom in an accusatory manner.

2. Control - He is overly demanding of your time and must be the center of your attention. He controls finances, the car, and the activities you partake in. Becomes angry if woman begins showing signs of independence or strength.

3. Superiority - He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be "right" by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.

4. Manipulates - Tells you you're crazy or stupid so the blame is turned on you. Tries to make you think that it's your fault he is abusive. Says he can't help being abusive so you feel sorry for him and you keep trying to "help" him. Tells others you are unstable.

5. Mood Swings - His mood switches from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred.

6. Actions don't match words - He breaks promises, says he loves you and then abuses you.

7. Punishes you - An emotionally abusive man may withhold sex, emotional intimacy, or plays the "silent game" as punishment when he doesn't get his way. He verbally abuses you by frequently criticizing you.

8. Unwilling to seek help - An abusive man doesn't think there is anything wrong with him so why should he seek help? Does not acknowledge his faults or blames it on his childhood or outside circumstances.

9. Disrespects women - Shows no respect towards his mother, sisters, or any women in his life. Thinks women are stupid and worthless.

10. Has a history of abusing women and/or animals or was abused himself - Batterers repeat their patterns and seek out women who are submissive and can be controlled. Abusive behavior can be a generational dysfunction and abused men have a great chance of becoming abusers. Men who abuse animals are much more likely to abuse women also.

I think it is important to post this today. It was written by Stephany Alexander, B. A. Author Woman founder of www.WomanSavers.com...C heck out her site. She is an Abuse Expert.


Update: November 05, 2009.
If you read the acknowledgement it was written by a woman for women. There are women who abuse as well and the same signs would apply to them...Men rarely speak out about abuse and they should. Rosey

- Asked by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?
Dating / 6:50 PM - Saturday October 31, 2009 Back To Top

HER' behaviour is bothing me!

My girl is accusing me of checking out/ and flirting with girls when I am not. Ex, paying for a bill at the restaurant being accused of flirting with the waitress. A girl walks by and she accuses me of checking her out. She is starting to criticise me and treating me like she is my mom.
When we were walking in thr mall yesterday, she said to me " keep up to me when I am walking" 'You look like a stalker behind me" She goes and tells her friends infront of me "Guess what he did ?"... then tells them like she is putting me down. The other day we were in a friends car, and we had an argument because I was standing up for myself, she started to pull on my seatbealt from behind to make it tight on me, almost like trying to hurt me or something. What is she doing ?

- Asked by Male, 22-25