He's nicer to me now that we aren't dating...WTF? A few years ago, I started hooking up with a guy I worked with. It went on for a couple years, I fell for him, he was younger than I and getting over an ex-gf and never wanted a serious relationship. We ended things and got back "together" so many times... so much drama. Him telling me he did care about me but wasnt ready... I got pretty dramatic about it and jealous of other girls, but he also didn't treat me very well. He was young and immature and a player..but we had our good times. He left for a new job elsewhere... missed me, and decided to try a real relationship with me. I was over the moon. For 3 whole days until he changed his mind and said he just wasnt sure about everything and didnt want to string me along. We didnt speak for awhile, then we started sleeping together again for a little while, and then... he met someone else. And got serious with HER.
It was all downhill from there. He lied to her and I about each other, he didnt actually date her seriously either until a year after doing with her what he did with me. Not sure what changed his mind but one day something clicked and Mr.No Commitment got into a relationship.
I was devasated, felt like a fool, couldn't understand why her and not me. I cut off contact for a long time. He eventually started texting me again saying he missed talking to me and hated wondering what I was up to, etc. Half a year had gone by, so I was getting over it...and decided to give being friends a go.
And it's been GREAT. We get along better than ever. Yes, he is still with his gf, has been for over a year. He has instigated ALL of the contact with me. We live blocks from each other, so we went for a beer when we first started speaking again, and it went great. From there, we would run into each other in the mornings and he'd suggest coffee, so we go every couple weeks for coffee. He emails me every single day, all day, from work. He texts me frequently. He'll msg me online instantly if he sees me log in. He does get sexual (online only, never in person and we have never crossed the line) But he'll just make comments alluding to it.
Lately he's been even more attentive. He used to be scared to hang out with me. Either because I'd get attached again and expect more, or him feeling guilty with his gf, or him scared something would happen between us. Or maybe just no interest. Who knows...but he would always make plans to meet up then bail 99% of the time. But now, "lets go for coffee" and he's there. Or "i'm going to the store, want to come for a walk?" and we'll just hang out for an hour doing that. Or just last night "we should play some Guitar Hero tonight, how about I come over?" And he did. We met at a local burger place, HE paid (he never used to pay for a thing when we were together...) and we hung out at my place for a few hours just playing Jeopardy and videogames and having a good time. We NEVER fight anymore..our old relationship was all about that. He's nicer than ever, tells me it was nice to see me and that I looked good.
Naturally, I'm confused!!! I knwo most will say "for sex.." but its not...he hasnt even tried, other than the few comments online only. And, you'll also ask if his gf knows about the amount of time we spend together... no, ofcourse not. She hates me from when he was cheating on her with me in the very beginning (I DIDNT know he was with her though..so it ended as soon as I did) And she is also away during the week at school..but here every weekend.
Guys, what's the deal with him?? I know it could just be friends on his part...but why does he pay so much attention to me??? That's an awful lot of time to spend on a FRIEND, a person you have a lot of history with, no? - Asked by Female, 29-35
| 