Once there was a prostitute

who had three different rates based on the following three conditions:

1) $100.00 to do it on the grass.
2) $200.00 to do it on a couch.
3) $300.00 to do it in the bed.

In the morning a British bloke walks in and slaps a $100 note on the table. So they went out and did it on the grass.

Soon, an American fellow walks in and slaps a $200 note on the table. So they head for the couch and did it there.

About the end on the day, a Jamaican man walks in and slaps $300 on the table.

Happy from seeing the money the prostitute says, "Wow, you have class"

The Jamaican responds, "Class mi ass... Three times pon the grass!"

How can I make new friends?

Hey everyone, I find myself in dire straits,I have no friends where I live anymore. I lost my one remaining hold-out of a friend earlier this week after she picked a fight with me and I finally snapped and told her what I really thought of her. So now I'm officially friendless.Where can I find some new friends?
A little info about the enviroment I find myself in... There are two types of bars in town:Dive and ones that only play rap music(I'm a rock fan) and the only other alternative to the bars is one sad little coffee house that caters to the "artsy" set, and I am not artsy. Not to mention these aren't places for meeting new friends they're places you go with your friends. And as for clubs/organiations and things that cater to my personal intrests: there are NONE. I've lived in this stupid town for 21 years so trust me. So I need suggestions on how and where to meet new people keeping in mind my enviromental situation.

Thanks!

So this is kind of a vent / question / opinion thing so have at it ..

Me and my bf have been together for 2 yrs. We're in school together taking the same classes to be RN's (registered nurse). In the beginning of our relationship, he had a job. Never spent money on me but I don't care too much about that. It was nice that he had a job though cause the rare times he did contribute it was nice =]. Fast fwd to now, he got fired from his job (he'll be 23 in Nov and I am 22) back in Feb. His mom said it was ok because this whole time she's been trying to convince him that "he doesn't need a job" so he can "focus on school" and blah blah blah. I have a job, part time 5 days wk/20 hrs. Not much but it's something and it's light enought that it doesn't interefere with school. So my thing is I don't make alot of money. I barely make enough but I always manage to buy us food, him clothes sometimes, and whatever else (nothing huge just things here and there). It would be nice if he had a job too, just so I wouldn't be the only one bringing in money. I told my bf, i'll spend money all day and I don't care about spending money on him cause if I did then I wouldn't, ya know? Then he tells me "well whatever then i'll eat my own food. you keep your money and i'll keep mine (ironic cause he doesn't have a job, but I digress). i don't want you spending your money on me anymore etc". What do you think he meant by that? I think he's just pissed because I think he should get a job. He could have a job right now but he doesn't want it (he could go work w my brother). My thing is, he's 23 and yeah he's focusing on school but shouldn't he WANT to support himself. Wouldn't he WANT to only have to depend on himself and not his parents anymore? Or am I missing the boat here. I'm not asking anything of him, just saying it would be nice if we both had a little something! Is that too much to ask? I don't wanna sound like a gold digger but come on now. We live with my mom so we don't pay rent. He doesn't pay for his car stuff .. so what gives. Is everything just too set for him and he's comfertable? I mean he says he wants to wait till we graduate to get a job but come on dude who knows when that will be! Plus do you really wanna wait that long?! Lol. Anyways, what are your thoughts on this? Let me know ..

What to do about this????

What to do about an ex who won't stop calling and sending me text messages?

He was emotionally abusive and a cheater.

Do I just delete the texts as they come? It hasn't been that long so I'm hoping he'll give up soon so I won't have to change my number.

why aren't guys in Manhattan dating anymore?

the thing is.. i broke up with my boyfriend like 5 months ago.. and i haven't had a date with someone else yet.. and I am not asking for a relationship, but i haven't even find anyone to hook up with!!!! it's crazy, i am not ugly in fact i am good looking and nice and funny but it's VERY frustrating to go out and don't find someone interesting.

is this something to do with the economic crisis?? honestly i don't know what to think anymore.. maybe i just forgot how to flirt! but i am only 23 so that shouldn't be a prob!!

any comments from girls in my situation or guys don't wanting to date??

I feel like an inconsiderate ass.

Last night I was hanging out with my boyfriend.

He had a cold/sore throat type thing. I knew this and had surprised him with throat losenges.

Toward the end of the evening he said that he thought it might be better if we didn't have sex, as he wasn't sure how well he could perform 'cause he felt sick.

My ex used to turn me down for sex for no good reason *all the time* then make me feel bad for even having a libido. I'm still kinda sensitive about being turned down, even if the reason is legit (nobody can help being sick).

I didn't make a big fuss over it, but he could tell I was disappointed. As soon as he figured this, he immediately changed his mind and suggested that we go have sex.

I knew he changed his mind just to make me happy, and I kept asking him if he was sure he was okay with it and that he was up for it and stuff. He insisted he was fine and proceeded to give me a couple orgasms (normally he can give me 4-6 in a row).

I feel like an inconsiderate ass now. Did I force him into it? He insists it was his decision but I feel bad.

If I email a man on FB and he hasn't replied after 4 weeks, do I send another email or leave it?

There was this teacher at my daughter's school who I liked the look of but had never been introduced to. Was lots of smiling and looking at each other over 2 years but he seemed shy. I had also caught him driving past my house a few times. So i figured what the hell and sent a message on FB.

I haven't heard back. Do I try again in the hope that maybe he is confused, embarassed or never saw my email, or do I leave it as a sign that he is not interested?

Are you pretty firm...

with your decisions?

How often do you change your mind?

Do you prefer OLDER or YOUNGER?

How much older/younger...Why?

Update: November 03, 2009.
Yes, I mean S/O's lol

had my period for one day, could i be preggo? guess I'll find out tomorrow when I take the test.